the rookie plays dumb / by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.




The Big Lug keeps making rookie mistakes. For someone who was going to be smart with the money, he's playing dumb. Real dumb. Let's do some simple math that even an accountant should be able to handle.

The city pays the Big Lug a $600 per month stipend to drive his itsy, bitsy Toyota Corolla back and forth to city hall.

The former Mayor, Kay Barnes, now esconced in her tomb known as the Sprint Center, rented a Huge Lincoln Town Car, for the Big Lug at a cost of $724 per month, or $8600 per year.

The Big Lug turned down the Huge Lincoln in favor of the itsy, bitsy Toyota. However, in addition to 2 months of the lease payments already made to the dealer, the city has agreed to pay the leasor of the Huge Lincoln $5,647.04 to get out of the 2-year lease agreement early.

So here's where the regular folks of Kansas City stand with regards to the frugal Mayor and his tranportation choices.

Annual car allowance for itsy, bitsy Toyota = $7200
2 months of lease payments on Huge Lincoln = $1,448
One-time payment for early release on Huge Lincoln = $5,647
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Total cost for 1 year the for the Big Lug to be smart with the money = $14, 295

Increase over allowance for itsy, bitsy Toyota = 98.5 percent.
Increase over cost of Huge Lincoln = 66 percent

Amount of being dumb with the money = 100 percent.

Here's a suggestion for the Big Lug and how to be smart(ERRR!!) with the money. You live 6 miles from city hall. Let's say you work 6 days a week, and take off only 12 days a year (you're a hard worker). At the standard government allowance of 48.5 cents per mile (which includes the cost of maintenance, fuel, and insurance), it should cost you $14,550 to operate the itsy, bitsy Toyota. Seems a little high, but then again, so is the price of freedom.

Better idea. Much better idea. You live less than 30 seconds from a bus stop. The MAX bus stops in front of your house and also in front of City Hall. So why don't you take the freakin' bus to work? For $5 a day (or $1500 per year) you can get to work and spend less time than driving and parking your own car. Wouldn't that be a good example for the regular folk? It would cost about 10 percent of the cost of operating your personal vehicle. And when you're on the bus you can chat with all the regular folks who put you in office, most of who get absolutely NO compensation for driving to and from work.

Now that would be, Being Smart with the Money.