For Immediate Release:
Due to circumstances beyond control, the maiden voyage of Bitterman Airlines was forced off course, and crash landed into the side of the Historic Folly Theater in downtown Kansas City. Miraculously, there were no serious injuries, although a number of summer vacation plans were ruined in the process.
Ralph Pennywhistle, a spokesperson from V.F.W. Chapter 201 (Des Moines, IA), in Kansas City for the annual Freedom Isn’t Free convention, and who witnessed the event exclaimed, "I’ve been in 3 wars, buried countless friends in defense of freedom, but now I’ve seen everything - a banana smashed into the side of a building. They don’t let you do stuff like that in Iraq, or China, or even France for that matter. No-Sir-E-Bob, THEY DO NOT."
Upon viewing the wreckage, A. Bitterman, CEO of the now defunct B.A. had this to say, "it's the most work I've ever done for something so meaningless."