offended by nothing

The following was sent in by a faithful reader. It details an interesting email exchange about the appropriate use of Holiday displays at the office. We include it here to potentially offset similar encounters before they occur at your workplace.
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To: All Department Employees

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

I would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a very merry and safe holiday season. Each year at this time many of us participate in holiday celebrations and activities occurring in and out of the office. While this is a time of celebration and joy, we must still be aware that there are rules and regulations which apply to all employees. As a result, the Departmental Ethics Office generally receives a number of questions from employees on the appropriateness of certain holiday activities.

Therefore, in anticipation of the more common questions received by my office, I have provided you with a summary of the rules governing various holiday activities.
Holiday Decorations
The Ethics Office has ruled that while offices may expend appropriated funds for reasonable seasonal decorations, such expenditures should be limited to those for use in the main entrances. central lobbies, or shared work areas of buildings. Seasonal decorations should not endorse, nor appear to endorse, any particular religious or political belief. Company funds may not be used to purchase decorations of a religious nature for private office space, nor for common areas.

Expenditures by the company are not authorized for decorating private areas or areas where the benefit is primarily for the employees who work in that area. However, employees may decorate their office areas, if decorations are purchased with their own funds (emphasis added). Such decorations may reflect the individual's cultural or religious beliefs (for example, a Christmas tree, a depiction of St. Nicholas, a menorah, or a Mkeka and Kinara), provided that such decorations do not interfere with the accomplishment of the employee's official responsibilities.

Wishing you the best this holiday season.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
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To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Thank you for clarifying the appropriate use of holday decorations at the office. We are decking the foyer, but not the Halls! Question though. After reading your email guidance, a frustrated employee came to me and asked, "would it be appropriate to display an atheistic holiday display in my cubicle?" My response, based upon your edifying email, was that as long as the display reflected his/hers belief system, then it was appropriate. The employee then left and on their lunch hour constructed such a display. The following morning, a nearby officemate came to me expressing considerable consternation at the display. I suggested that perhaps the best thing to do would be to ignore it, but no, this employee was adamant that the display was in fact highly offensive to them. I looked at the display and found nothing offensive. Can you advise as to the appropriateness of atheistic holiday displays in the office work environment?

A safe holiday to you.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
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To: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Thanks for your interest in making the holidays fun and safe for all. I have checked with the comptroller as to the appropriateness of such a display within the confines of office space. Unfortunately though, athesism is not currently listed in the departmental guidelines as an official religion and thus is not covered under the Department's holiday guidance. Perhaps as a compromise, you might suggest that the employee in question simplify the display, thereby removing the offensive elements and thus lessening it's effect.

Peace to you this holiday season.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
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To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

What a joy this time of year is! Snow is falling and everyone is making merry - but not on company time! I followed your advice and made the compromise suggestion of simplification. However, I must say that this suggestion was not meet with what one might call the Holiday Spirit. NO! No, indeed. The employee in question said such threats only strenghtened their personal resolve for a public display of beliefs.

Wishing you Joy and Prosperity in the New Year.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
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To: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

I have met again with consel on this matter. They have suggested that the best approach is to allow the employee to display nothing.

Again, Peace.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
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To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<
Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Joyous Holidays indeed. We have successfully resolved the issue. After some soul searching in the off-hours, and upon closer inspection, it was determined by all parties that the display contained nothing of offense.

Your Ally in All things Allah.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
p.s. A photo of the display is enclosed so that you make your own determination and assure the Department of Ethics that we have made the right choice.

xmas, where x = green

Holiday decorations are down this year. Lot's of reasons, choose one: 1) sub-prime mortgage collapse; 2) stagnating economy; 3) colder than normal weather; 4) warmer than normal weather; 5)the writer's strike ;6) grumpiness. Could be any of those reasons. Doesn't matter, they're down, and holidays are suffering because of it. Don't fret. There's still plenty of time for a remedy.

In the old days, the remedy for the holiday blues might be a few glasses of eggnog, Nat Cole, or a drive around town to see the lights. Yeah, lights. Crazy yard displays. As long as we don't have to put them up, take them down, or deal with the traffic, they are great. Except yard lights aren't very environmentally sensitive, but there are still plenty of 'em of there. And here's how you can take advantage of them, without adding to the carbon budget.












To save gas and to spread a little holiday cheer WARRIOR ANT PRESS is officially announcing Xmas, where x = green. Xmas,where x = green is a carbon neutral holiday lights tour that requires no car trips around town to complete and view. It also doesn't consume any more resources than what's already out there in the public display. Warrior Ant Press has been documenting and posting holiday displays for the last several weeks on our website. These we discover during dog walks, work commutes, and weekly errands. We document them with our digi-cam, post them on a web-sharing site, and then feed them to our blog. We will continue to add to this display throughout the season and now we're inviting your participation. And it's so easy. Easier than shopping for your dad.

Here's how it works.

First. Document your own holiday display. Or walk around your neighborhood, town, or village and document the BEST displays of others. You know where they are and if you don't then by walking around town, you'll soon find out. They don't have to be extravagant. Some of best displays are the most simple. Alternatively, you can capture 'displays of opportunity' during your holiday travels. But if you have to drive 30 minutes out of the way to see it and document it, then you're defeating the carbon neutral purpose.

Be creative with your photos. Just keep them on topic. You can try to capture the one, true essence of the display. Or you can go for the panoramic view.

Please avoid overtly commercial displays. Where x=green is about another green altogether than money.

Second. Post the photos on Flickr or Picasa with the tag "carbon neutral xmas lights tour". Your photos will be appearing within a few minutes.

You can also setup your own slideshow on your blog and feed these same photos by choosing the keywords option instead of the user option. Use the keyword "carbon neutral xmas lights tour" and soon your sites will be displaying all the slides with that tag.

thanks,

Peace, Joy, and Prosperity to you this Holiday Season,

the staff @ Warrior Ant Press