all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over the years, i read them

As much as you'd like to believe that the Republicans are entirely responsible for the verging collapse of the U.S. economy and our sinking reputations abroad, they are not. They can take credit for much of the mess, but there's plenty blame to share with colleagues across the aisle. But Republicans do deserve most of the credit for dumbing down the election to the intellectual level of eighth graders.

Even the pundits are saying that Sarah Palin is so simple that Joe Biden has to be careful so as not to appear too intellectual least he alienate voters. The same advice was given to Barack Obama which is what lead to the whole pig-on-a-lipstick shtick that played for a week.

Can anyone imagine Sarah Palin reading anything much beyond People? There was a picture of John McCain catching up on the news aboard his campaign plane the other day. McCain's paper of choice? USA today. No Washington Post, NY Times, or Wall Street Journal for this fly-jockey. Gimme the sports section please. What do you think of those Bills?

Ready to serve, God willing. Or God forbid.

2008 predictions from warrior ant press

Ten things that may come to pass in 2008.

*A new television network will emerge from the writer's strike which won't be settled until after the November elections. Called FTW, For the Win, the network will feature only shows that pit contestants against one another. Just some of the shows on tap at FTW:

--*Fed by Spears -- The raucus pilot begins just as Britney finds out that K-Fed is really the father of Jamie Lynn's baby! Then we follow the trio through the courts and into rehab and back again in the custody battle of the century. With Judge Mathis presiding, it's winner take ALL THE KIDS. Losers pay alimony, court costs, and the therapist bills.

--*Auf'd the Campaign Trail --Follows the crazy antics of Rudy Gulliani on (and auf) the campaign trail as he tries to become President. Americans tune in droves for the sex, swearing, and lying. As the election nears, and to boost ratings among gays and security moms, Gulliani replaces his campaign staff with a team of make-over artists that includes Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks, Ty Pennington, and Tom Bergeron. Rudy then storms the campaign trail in a Utilikilt preaching tolerance, 9/11, and family values. Miraculously, the ploy works because Mike Huckabee can't remember why the US and France are allies; a video clip of Mitt Romney coming out of the restroom with Larry Craig turns up on TMZ; Fred Thompson quits after the California primary, stating, "I make more money in Law and Order residuals than the President does in a year, what the hell's the point in that?";and during an appearance on American Gladitors to prove he's the toughest candidate, John McCain suffers post-tramatic stress while jousting, gets knocked into the water and nearly drowns. A cell phone video of the event will become the most-watched YouTube video of the year.

*Dick "the Dick" Cheney will suffer another heart attack, his 9th, and perish only to surprise the devil himself by coming back to life once the embaling fluid reaches his heart.

*George Bush will remain in office but "the Dick" will still be in charge.

*Bono will play himself in a movie even appearing as himself during his early childhood, will stop wearing those goofy-ass shades everywhere, and will negioate a temporary peace in war-torn Pakistan.

*In an effort to bolster her flagging campaign, Hillary Rodham Clinton, will ditch Celine Dion for Snoop Dogg, who always wanted to 'pop that bitch'.

*Much to Hillary's dismay, the Dogg convinces Chelsea Clinton to make a guest appearance on his reality show Fatherhood, they fall in love, and live happily ever after.

*Barack Obama will become the second bi-racial candidate (after Bill Clinton) to be nominated for the Presidency. The swing state of Michigan will play heavily in the election and ultimately cause the ruination of Obama due to high number of illiterate voters who confuse his name with that of Osama bin Laden. "'Ain't voting for no terrorist, 'cause if I do, they will have won" one disgruntled voter will be heard to say.

*After being elected President, Rudy Gilliani will be linked to truthers, but the Supreme Court will refuse to rule against the notion that 'it was in the country's best interest to start World War III.'

limited time introductory offer

The following questions were used to vett Jeb Bush for the 2012 election. Get out the dragnet for God and Praise Jesus, he did not pass. When I say go, you may turn the page and you have exactly 3 minutes to complete the questions. Please put down your pencils when I say stop.

Ok GO!

Paper or plastic or hemp?

Giants or Yankees? Dodgers or Yankees? Yankees or Red Sox? National or American?

Should George Bush's presidency have an asterik placed next to it?

Why can't the President dance? And the First Lady?

Bird or Trane? Mingus or Davis? Ellington or Ella? Billie Holliday or Nina Simone or Madeline Peyroux? Sinatra or Nat King?

To the best of your recollection when was the first time that you became aware of the fact that the President and Ms. Myers were having a tryst in the Rose Garden?

To the best of your recollection, when was the first time that you became aware of the fact that the First Lady and Condi were reading the collected works of Sappho together at a Georgetown book club?

Johnny or June Carter? George or Tammy? Kurt or Courtney?

Are you aware of any alien life forms living in our midst?

Who's more inept? Agent Fox Mulder or Agent Jack Bauer? More believable? More dangerous?

Dick Cheney shot a lawyer just to watch him die?

Which would be the best way to help? Don't cross that line. Get in the second chopper. Drop your weapon, NOW! Listen up to ole-timey music.

Why can't the soldiers in Iraq just click their heels together 3 times and come home?

TIME! and STOP!