cheater shot in the arm

The recent revelation that at least 3 Tour de France cyclists tested positive for a new kind of blood enhancer threatens to further harm the sport. Stefan Schumacher, who won both time trials during this year's tour, was one of the riders. The others were Richardo Ricco, who won 2 stages, and Leonardo Piepoli, who won one. That's 5 of 21 stages that were won by blood-doping riders and that makes the sport look stupid.

The riders tested positive for a new generation of drugs that are typically given to people with chronic kidney disease. Chronic kidney disease (and many cancer treatments) often inhibits the body's ability to produce red bloods cells. The pharmaceutical company Roche developed a drug, Mircera®, that works by activating a bone marrow receptor which then triggers the production of new red blood cells. More red blood cells in the body means more oxygen - a great benefit to dialysis patients and competitive cyclists alike.

In an even weirder twist to the story, one that wasn't reported in the sports journals, is that Roche is being sued by another pharmaceutical maker, Amgen, for patent infringement. So the cheaters have been using a drug that was obtained by cheating!

Fans and sponsors are getting sick of all the doping scandals and here's a crazy twist to next year's Le Tour. Corporate sponsors have been dropping right and left. New teams to the table, such as Garmin/Chilpolte and Team Columbia, are stepping up only after branding themselves as cleaner than clean, meaning they use even more advanced techniques to test riders than the World Anti-Doping Authority. Riders also have to sign contracts that allow the sponsors to sue them for back-wages and fraud should the riders ever test positive for banned substances.

Just as the sport seems in danger of imploding, Lance Armstrong (long accused, but never proven, of being dirty) comes out of retirement to save the day, bring back the fans, and restore the integrity to the sport. As part of his comeback, Armstrong will be subjecting himself to rigorous testing to prove to the world just how 'clean' he is. If he wins, he'll be able to hold himself up as the very model of the clean cyclist.

tour of missouri: stage 2

Tour of Missouri, stage 2, 126 miles, Clinton to Springfield.

The only cycling news in Missouri bigger than the fact that Mark Cavendish, once again decimated the field in a mass sprint to take stage 2 of the second annual Tour of Missouri is that Lance Armstrong is coming back to the field of professional cycling. His ride last month in the Leadville 100 was just a tease. Today he told vanity fair that it's for real.

Our guess is that Lance would like to prove that he wasn't a doper all those years when he was winning 7 Maillot Jaunes. It might also be coupled to fact that there currently isn't a pro cyclist who was as well-rounded as Armstrong in his day. In order to win the Grand Tours, and especially Le Tour, one has to be a good time-trialer and a good climber. You can forgo the mass field sprints and still win, but winning the field sprints won't get one to the top of the podium overlooking the Champs-Elysee. That's why, even though he's currently the best sprinter in the world, unless he learns to ride in the mountains, Mark Cavendish will have to be content with stage wins. There's nothing wrong with that. As of today, he's got 16 stage wins this year and a world championship to boot.

Caudel Evans, the Australian, who finished second in the last two Le Tours, will likely give Armstrong a battle next year. Alexander Vinokourov, who might contest the race, won't be invited next year, having been caught doping during last year's race. Same for the Michael Rassmussen. Out. All said, Armstrong, likely perceives this to be good time to launch a comeback.

It's also likely that some of Lance's teammates won't be in a hurry to power him up Alpe d'Huez until he proves he's back to form. In Armstrong's seven tour wins he was backed by some of the greatest teams ever assembled. It was not uncommon for Team US Postal (6 of the 7 wins were under Postal), and then later Team Discovery Channel, to completely destroy the peleton and match attack after attack on climbs and long stage races before Armstrong unleashed his Lance on the field.

In fact, it's not clear who the team leader of Astana will be now if Armstrong returns. Alberto Contador has what it takes to win again and should be the designated leader until Armstrong proves that he's not. Now that's something we'd like to see, Armstrong as a domestique. We think this prospect may have been what sunk his engagement to Sheryl Crow. Perhaps Astana Team Manager, Johann Bruyneel, will let Contador and Armstrong fight it out and decide mid-race who's got the best shot at the podium. Whatever the outcome, it'll be a boost to cycling as the average American, only cares about Americans. They may not know much about cycling, but they know the dude with the single testicle and the yellow bracelet.

First though, Amoury Sports Organization has to relent and let Astana ride again in the tour. There was much chatter this year that the French, were, well sick of les americains always winning had pulled a slick one to keep them out of last year's tour - won by Spaniard Carlos Sastre. This also might be a ploy by Armstrong to force ASO to let team Astana back in the field as Bruyneel was Armstrong's manager for all seven tour wins. When folks said it was all Armstrong, Bruyneel came back and within 2 year had put Contador in yellow on Sunday in Paris.

more spainiards

Spaniards. Everywhere. Even on the Champs Elysee. It's 3 times in a row in Le Tour for the Spanish.
2006 - Óscar Pereiro.
2007 - Alberto Contador.
2008 - Carlos Sastre.

Pereiro , who backed into the '06 title after Flance was exposed as a Big Dope, crashed out of this years tour after a 15 meters drop from one side of a hairpin curve to the other on a mountain descent. Result. Broken collarbone, fractured femur.

At least in '07 and '08 the winners were supported by the best teams. Discovery Channel's swan song in '07 and this year CSC drove the train through the Alps and no one could come close to staying with them. Cadel Evans, the great-white-hope-from-down-under couldn't do it in the final race-of-truth, the Saturday 53 km time trial before the run in to Paris. That leavess Carlos Sastre to stand atop the podium come Sunday in Paris and he did so in his last great chance to win what is still the greatest cycling event in the world. Forget what the American naysayers say about problems with doping, the dopers are losing their footing and nothing else even comes close to this event unless you have to be a football fan. And I'm not talking about the American version.

Two American teams, both in their first Grand Tour event, had impressive showings. Team Columbia (formerly High Road, as in take-the-high-road) and Team Garmin (formerly Slipstream Chilpolte) were impressive. Columbia threw up 5 stage wins, four on the back of the world's best sprinter, Mark Cavendish (Brit) who then left to prepare an assault on the Olympics and one by Marcus Burghardt (Ger).

Team Garmin had the American Christian vande Velde finish 5th in the General Classification, not bad considering that he had almost no support from his teammates in the mountains and that his teammates with the most Grand Tour eperience, David Millar, didn't perform to expectations after the 2nd week.

Next years tour to be wide open as more and more dopers retire, or are forced from the sport. This leaves teams with progessive training programs and an emphasis on clean racing, like Columbia and Garmin, in a good position to make an even bigger mark next year. Of course, they'll still have to contend with the Spainards. And next year, Contador will be riding again.

image: Carlos Sastre by Pascal Pavani, Agence Frace-Presse

year of the spaniard?

The Spaniards seem to be everywhere these days, at least in the sports arena. Last week they pulled off a victory in the EuroCup final, an event that looms very large the world over - except in America (kinda like low-mileage automobiles). Then Alejandro Valverde pulled off a pretty impressive surge at the end of the Stage One of Le Tour crushing some of the best sprinters in the world in the process. He was wearing yellow today in Paris, a color he may be able to hang to for a while, but it's 3 weeks before the return trip down the Champs-Elyse. Unfortunately the best Spanish rider, Alberto Contador, the defending champ is having to sit this one out because Amory Sports Organization, the organization which hosts Le Tour is making the Astana Team and coach Johan Bruyneel (former coach to Lance the A.) pay for years of speculation about his ethics and the fact that Astana(before Bruyneel) was as dirty as the Russian mob. And finally today, Rafael Nadal rid himself of the Swiss grass jinx and prevailed in the longest final match in Wimbledon history. Those Brits are nothing if not patient. Nadal has now done it on clay and grass in the same year.

So don your red beret and Rioja or Navarra wine. Sante!

flance recieves maillot t-shirt

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true or is it something worse? Bruce Springsteen

Flance, aka Floyd Landis, lost his last appeal of his 2006 superhuman ascent of Le Tour today leaving him with only the Maillot Jaune t-shirt. Flance's fall from grace has all the earmarks of an epic tragedy in the making, although it would seem the end has yet to be written.

For those of you who have forgotten, this year's edition of Le Tour begins on Saturday the 5th - without Team Astana, which means without the best team and the defending champion. We'll see if anyone watches without the dopers.

time to give it up

In a startling twist at his anti-doping trial, Floyd Landis, the reigning, embattled, and increasingly embittered Tour de France Champion, was asked by race officials to submit one of his testicles for additional analysis. The testy, testosterone-addled Landis who last year mounted one of the most impressive recoveries in Tour history while suffering from the lingering effects of dehydration and a first-class hangover, purportedly did the deed himself and without anesthesia, opting instead for a shot of Jack to deaden his scrotum. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back in the saddle and defend my jersey" said Landis who later tied a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.

"Lance won 7 Tours and the heart of Sheryl Crow with only one ball so I think you'll do fine", said the the presiding judge, a Mr. Mephistopheles. "Don't worry about false positives," said the judge, "if this one's hot, we can always take the B sample."

Moi research uncovered this startling photo whereby the Maillot Jaune listens to directions on how to avoid doping detection while a teammate preps his veins for a double dose of Jack.

m.o.i.: give it up
elsewhere:
m.o.i.: white hat, black hat, yellow jersey
m.o.i.: maillot jaune
m.o.i.: corporate money
m.o.i.: the 2-mile high club
m.o.i.: flance to wear zero for prologue
m.o.i.: you've lost that lovin' feeling