new U.S. airliner prepares for launch

Embargoed until: June 26, 2007

Office of the Secretary to the Minister of Information

Citizens have been asking, "Is it time yet?"

The answer has repeatedly been, " err, NO!, not a chance, maybe, not quite yet, soon, perhaps, some day, almost ready, once we clear this next hurdle, maybe then..." Exactly. More excuses than a top-level Department of Homeland Security official.

The last check point has finally been cleared and we are happy to report a singular expression of freedom, "YES!"

A. Bitterman, airline co-founder, expects the maiden voyage to depart Kansas City the 13th of July, a Friday. When asked, where did you get the idea, bitterman responded, "I stole the idea from Al Queda and reimagined it as an aesthetical idea capable of encompassing outcomes over time."

Homeland Security Secretary, Michael Chertoff offered no comment on the launch of Bitterman Airlines. The Office of Homeland Security did release the following statement for citizens with summer travel plans beyond U.S. borders.

Adults who have applied for but not yet received a passport should present government-issued photo identification and an official proof of application from the U.S. Department of State. Children under the age of 16 traveling with their parents or legal guardian will be permitted to travel with the child’s proof of application. Travelers who have not applied for a passport should not expect to be accommodated. U.S. citizens with pending passport applications can obtain proof of application at: http://travel.state.gov.

This accommodation does not affect entry requirements to other countries. Americans traveling to a country that requires passports must still present those documents.

Travel document security remains a top priority for the U.S. Government. Both the 9/11 Commission and the U.S. Congress urged strengthening of travel documents to prevent entry of terrorists across our borders, reduce use of fraudulent documents, and speed up entry procedures. [end quote].

Freedom still isn’t free, but rates have been reduced for the summer.
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here they come to save the day

Dateline Kansas City.

Errr. No. Correction. Everything is not up-to-date in Kansas City. Far from it. The cities crumbling infrastructure, it's estimated 2.5 billion dollars in deferred maintenance, its public art even is in danger of crashing down around us. To help save the city from itself, a dedicated group of needle artists, in town for last week's Stitch and Pitch, banded together to mend the city. Using extremely large needles and thread they quietly wove their way through the city basting, knitting, pearling and pitching a helluva stitch all about town. The result. A fix to soothe our ravaged souls, mend our hearts, and keep us standling tall for at least a while longer. Silk is strong, friends. Stronger than steel and a lot more wearable unless your first name is Super.