We were deep in the clutches of a week long absinthe binge when the Divine Hand of Brilliance touched us in an inappropriate place.
Thus begins the anticraft manifesto. It's a good place to start but seemingly ends in a vegan wrapped in bacon–which in all honestly isn't a bad start. But why stop there? Why not dip them in chocolate (72% cocoa!) afterwards.
One would have thought that bacon had reached its cultural, if not porcine, nadir with Bacon Explosion, a two pound, flame-grilled hunk of sausage wrapped in an equivalent weight of bacon. Pre-cooked weight 4 lbs; cooked weight 2.75 lbs: you can guess where the difference lies. The only thing less surprising than the viral nature of this singular flavor was the fact that it wasn't deep fried, which I hesitate to even mention because surely the next version will be just that to accompany your deep-fired turkey. Once bacon, seemingly the only pork product that isn't white meat, moved into the pantheon of an Iron Chef secret ingredient we knew the trend was nearing an end. Bacon can be many things but never a secret ingredient.
Bacon shawl photo from monster crochet.