Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. 7/4/07 Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. 7/4/07

this one's a bitch

Tony LaRussa, manager of the National League All-Star team, today announced that embattled ball boy, Scooter Libby, despite overwhelming fan requests, would not be appearing in this year's game. LaRussa cited Libby's slow recovery from reconstructive knee surgery - the result of long hours kneeling while clutching leather balls - as the reason.

Cosita, a one-year old bitch now serving time in the ARF league, was selected to replace Scooter and be next to LaRussa's side for next Tuesday's game.

Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. 7/3/07 Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. 7/3/07

ball boy*

Today President Bush announced that his ball boy, Scooter Libby, will have an asterik placed next to his name in the federal register. Allegations of steroid use and a federal perjury conviction have dogged Scooter, who recently suffered 2nd degree carpet burns on both his hands and knees, in recent weeks.