Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

Chops w Lamb of God Sauce

The Solstice is here and Christmas is just around the corner so this is a time for feasting. Why not Lamb? Here's a simple dish that is perfect for the feast occasion. The sauce is the faith that binds this dish. It's a variant on the classic brown sauce and if you're worried about calories, forget it, is has less than a glass of eggnog and is far more inspirational. Feasts don't have to mean gorging, if you want to gorge on the Holidays I suggest a trip to the mall, sans inhibitions and credit-card-in-tow. You'll be sick for a month and the less wise for it. Feasts mean friends, family, food, and fun.

Chops w/ Lamb of God Sauce

For the chops. Thick cut grass-fed lamb chops.

Lamb of God Sauce.
You will need:
1 quart of Lamb stock (see link below for lamb soup)
1 pint of Shatto Farms Heavy Cream.
Fresh Rosemary to garnish.

Place one quart of lamb stock that has been carefully strained to remove the impurities in a non-oxidizing pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for ~30 minutes to reduce the volume to a glaze, approximately 1/4 cup. The goal is to complete and total the essence of the lamb. The final amount of the reduction based upon the initial water content but it should thinly coat a spoon. Careful at the end! If you scorch the reduction you're done. There's no recovery; it's a do over, and a long one.

Just at the point that the lamb glaze comes together add 3 cups of heavy cream. Your sauce pan has to have some room for expansion or you'll have a mess. Whisk the cream, bring to a boil and at this point you'll notice that it wants to foam considerably. Immediately turn down the heat, stirring and occasionally whisking if necessary to prevent a boil over. Once you get past this initial phase, you can turn the heat down to simmer and the sauce will not boil over. Reduce the liquid by half whisking as needed to prevent the sauce from scorching.

Do not bastardize the sauce with binding or thickening agents. It will not break if made properly. Hold the sauce in a warm spot prior to serving. You can even store it overnight in the fridge, glass or stainless steel only, and then gently reheat prior to serving.

Salt and pepper the lamb (you can substitute pork here if you question your faith) chops then grill them for 4 minutes a side. Let stand for a few minutes and serve. Suggested sides.
Snow peas with caramelized ginger.
Baby portabellas poached in zinfandel.
Moon and stars toast points. (Farm-to-market grains galore).

One word for this dish. Divine.

see also:
m.o.i.: lamb soup- three degrees of separation

elsewhere:
shatto farms
good-natured family farms
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

what the funk up with dat?


Mayor Mark Funkhouse took the stage this week with his improvisational version of NNIICCEE, although it was more a gesture of composure and lack of performance. The weekly gig also starred Vincent Gallo, and together they made a mess of jamming, mostly on their knees as they couldn't quite find the right melody to satisfy their constituents nor get much satisfaction from the crowd. Some audience members yawned, some were nonplussed, but more were down-right obnoxious with the heavy-handed criticism such as, "rank avatars, the both". The consensus reaction could best be described as "What the Funk just happened?"

Wouldn't it just make more sense to talk about what you plan on doing first, try to set the stage a little bit, and then have a go at it? I guess the notion that the voters "elected the council to use our brains" has now expired. You would think that the Mayor rolling over on the Bannister Mall super-tiff would have garnered more support than an awkward, last-ditch lawsuit proffered by the Mayor Pro-tem.

Lots of things around here need changing; why the Funk do you think he got elected in the first place? But the power structure isn't going to go down easily. The fact that minorities stood behind City Manager Wayne Cauthen in Funk's effort to oust him, is just another example of people doing what's not in their best interest. If someone can tell me how having the City Manager in a 25-year tax-abated condo helps the poor, or how the advent of several hundred crappy stadium food service and parking lot jobs in downtown helps minorities, then bring on the salsa, I'm ready to tango.

On the flip side, for all the front-porch sitting in the company of friends and a malted beverage that the Mayor's been doing, he could use some advise from the other side - the side that 3-steps to hard liquor and hard work. One of the campaign promises that Mark made was that he was going to surround himself with people who agreed with him, as well as those who didn't agree with him. Seems like he's waited a little too long to find those that disagree with him because they keep turning up in council chambers and either casting votes against him, or publicly castigating him. Worst, these Christians are likely to be stingy with the forgiveness. It's going to take more than eggnog to make this Council sound mellifluous again.


elsewhere:
nniiccee funky porch
the band rriiccee
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

bringing some light to our darkest hours



On Friday, just in time for Christmas and the Winter Solstice, the culpability of the Bush Administration torture crowd will be questioned by a federal judge. The government must appear before Federal District Court Judge Henry H. Kennedy Jr to answer questions about why the government withheld evidence in a criminal trial and then destroyed said evidence, even when warned against doing either by the court. Let's hope Judge Kennedy sees the government's actions for what they were, and sets the stage for indictments of a slew of White House counsels who were part and parcel to such blatant disregard for the rule of law, which they pretend to cherish, yet so patently ignore.

This includes former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who served as White House counsel until early 2005; Gonzales'successor, Harriet Miers, who was briefly nominated to the Supreme Court before her name was withdrawn for being El Presidento's urequited love slave; John B. Bellinger III, who until January 2005 was the senior lawyer at the National Security Council,and David Addington, who is Vice President Dick "the Dick" Cheney's chief of staff and formerly his cousel. Lawyers all, and when they go against the wishes of the court willfully and knowingly, it amounts to Obstruction of justice and Conspiracy to commit obstruction of justice.

The Bush Administration objects to being forced to appear before Judge Kennedy, just as they object to each and every request to shed light on their dungeons and dragons roleplaying with the world, our future, and the constitution. A little sunlight will be the undoing of these devils. Thanks goodness the days are going to start getting longer as of today.
see also:
m.o.i.:: insane clown posse

elsewhere:
officials to submit to questioning

ap cia videotapes analysis
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

red carpet massacre?

Jeez! Writer's Guild of America (WGA) has announced that they won't grant waivers to the Golden Globes and the Oscars and people are crying foul, foul, foul. "We want our stars! We demand our stars. You can have our homes, our dignity, our jobs, but our stars? NO! Not the Stars!" It's as though the whole economy can come crashing down like the twin towers if the stars don't show up on Hollywood Boulevard the last Monday in February. Well maybe it can, given that unless our feckless consumers feel good about themselves, well, then they can't shop. And shop they must. And feel good they must. Least they have dispense with their own dreams and star in their own reality show. Thank goodness I won last week's immunity challenge so that I have a brief respite from my own.

Warrior Ant Press offers this compromise. WGA gives the Oscars a waiver. The red carpet rolls, the glitterati descend from on high, the press and fans fawn alike over the costumes, the hair, the makeup, and Enertainment Tonight scores an interview or two. Even David Carr, the CarpetBagger, gets an interview with an A-lister. In return, actors who win awards have to come to the podium and remain speechless - for 90 seconds.

tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc,tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc,tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toctic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc,tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc,tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc..

Ninety seconds is a long time. That was only 60 secs.

Maestro! The music.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

48 days, week 1


Week 1

Sunday. 17:00 P.M.
Two blue Suburbans, windows heavily tinted, screech to a halt in front of the Glendale City jail. Three men in dark clothes and even darker sunglasses emerge from the vehicle where they are met by three uniformed officers. The vehicle is quickly surrounded by a throng of onlookers, television reporters, and paparazzi. One of the men in dark clothes turns his back on the crowd and speaks quietly into a cell phone, then motions to the other two and they all move to the rear of the vehicle. When the crowd begins to surge forward, the uniformed officers push them back with a fierce intensity.

The rear doors are opened to reveal a cuffed and shrouded figure. The man is pulled from the vehicle, and because his feet are also shackled is forced to shuffle his way forward. Guards hold him upright, drag his feet when he lingers to sounds of "Jack, Jack, look this way!", and brusquely pull him up the steps. A young boy, no older than 15 rushes to get a close-up photo of the shrouded figure. One of the sun-glassed guards shoves the boy to the ground. "Get the fuck out of here!" he spits at the boy. Someone at the back of the crowd screams, "Hey, you can't do that to him." The man wheels, glares, and begins to move toward the voice. "Victor! Victor!" a voice shouts. The man stops. "Leave it." Victor turns away, moves to the boy, picks him up by the elbow, and leans in where only the boy can hear him. "Next time I break your fuckin' leg."

Within the hour TMZ has footage of the incidence on its web site. It becomes the lead story for Entertainment Tonight, even Katie Couric makes mention of it on the Nightly News.

Sunday. 17:05 PM.
A white 4-door Ford Escort with a dent in the front quarter-panel pulls into the underground parking lot of the jail and parks in the sole handicapped parking space. Jack Bauer, accompanied by his attorney, emerge from the car whereupon they enter the building and Jack surrenders himself to the desk sergeant who after taking his personal effects, asks him for an autograph. Jack's attorney produces a photo from his briefcase, which Jack signs and hands to the officer. "Let's go," the officer says.

Monday. 10:00 PM.
Jack Bauer plays chess with his cellmate, Vincent. Before going to bed, Vincent tells him that he’s glad he's back in the house. Jack gives a nod and a cold stare but says nothing.

Tuesday. 8:00 AM.
Senator Barack Obama, an African-American running for President, writes his speech for the following day’s Iowa campaign event.

Tuesday. 12:00 P.M.
Carl Rovner transmits from Charleston, South Carolina that a man in a chicken outfit is coming to Iowa to heckle Senator Obama at tomorrow's event. Agent Richard Walsh, a high ranking Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) officer, is alerted.

Tuesday. 12:05 P.M.
Walsh tries to reach Agent Bauer on his cell phone to no avail.

Tuesday. 12:06 A.M.
Agent Walsh phones CTU headquarters and asks to speak to Agent Bauer. Je is informed that Bauer has been placed on administrative leave for 48 days and is not to be contacted by any member of the staff. Walsh asks to speak with District Director George Mason but is told that he's unavailable. Agent Nina Myers gets on the phone and tells Walsh that she can't divulge Jack's whereabouts, or when he will be back on duty, but that Jack is OK and recovering.

Wednesday, 10:45 A.M.
Outside of Post 10 of the Fraternal Order of the Exalted Woodsmen, a man in a chicken suit clucks at Senator Obama as he enters the hall to deliver a short campaign speech. The passing is captured on film by a Iowa farmer with a newly purchased digital camera. He sells the film for $12,000, more profit than he made all of last on his cow-calf operation. The film becomes the lead story that evening on Entertainment Tonight.

Thursday, 2:45 A.M.
Jamey Farrell, sitting in his parent's basement in his boxer shorts and smoking a joint, posts a copy of the man-in-the-chicken-suit clucks at Senator Obama on YouTube. The video is 32 seconds in it's entirety. He gets paid nothing.

Thursday, 9:45 A.M.
A guard bangs on the cell of Jack Bauer. "Bauer, let's go. You have a visitor."

Thursday, 10:00 A.M.
Bauer is lead into a room and told "10 minutes, no touching". Bauer looks around the room and recognizes no one.

Thursday, 10:01 A.M.
A young woman arises and walks toward Jack. When she reaches him, she pulls back her hooded sweater. "Kimberly! My god, you're alive!"

Friday, 10:00 P.M.
Vincent, Jack's cellmate says "Checkmate. Again. Damn, are you trying to set me up, motherfucker, because if you think I'm a sucker for that bullshit, you are wrong." "No," Jack says, "I'm just a little distracted". Vincent says, "I don't who that was that paid you a visit, but whoever it was sure fucked with your head." For the first time Jack is afraid and realizes that he may not be in control of the situation. Jack and Vincent have a heart-to-heart talk before turning in.

Saturday, 7:00 A.M.
A cell phone buzzes on a kitchen counter. Senator Clinton, still in her pajamas, picks up the phone. "Hillary," Barack greets her, "Good Morning. I gotta tell you, the chicken suit, wow, that was clever."

Saturday, 8:00 A.M.
Agent Walsh replays the phone conversation between Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Stops the tape. Rolls it again. Then picks up his phone and makes a call. "Tony Almeida please" he commands into the phone.

Saturday, 10:00 A.M.
District Director George Mason looks up from his desk, "What is it Tony?" Tony fills him in on the phone call between Obama and Clinton. "What do you think?" Mason asks Tony. Tony shakes his head. "Doesn't make sense."

Saturday 14:00 P.M.
Jack Bauer is walking through the common area of the jail. It is one of the few free moments the inmates have during the week. Jack walks past a man at a computer. The man is laughing out loud. "Wow. Check this shit out. Some dude in a chicken suit just dumped on that black dude Obama," the man guffaws. Jack stops. Grabs the mouse. Go back. Go back. He freezes the frame on a closeup of the man-in-a-chicken-suit's face. "Shit!" Jack exclaims, then yells "Guard! Guard! Guard! I have to speak to the warden. NOW!"

see also:
m.o.i.: Damn it! I just can't do this anymore.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

how to survive the office party

Drink in moderation - before, during, and after.

Wear an Xmas sweater? OK. It might make your colleagues laugh, but will you feel better? Probably not, unless you look good in red and green. Outside of Nicole Kidman, there aren't many who do.

Eat Chinese. Sure. Why not. The atheists in the office won't be offended, nor will the Buddhists, and the company can feign inter-denominational understanding.

Improvise. Here's where those interpersonal retreat workshops can really pay off. Sit next to the bosses' spouse at dinner, be very charming, and really, really listen to them. Ask plenty of questions. Hey, if the boss doesn't listen to you, do you think they pay attention to their spouse? Probably not, and the spouse is likely to do more to raise your profile in a 5-minute conversation during the ride home if you make a good impression than all the ass-kissing you've ever done. So try it. What's the worst that could happen? An affair with the boss's spouse. Ahhh. Maybe that's what is meant when they say, ''don't be afraid to take risks" in the workplace.

In short. Don't worry about it. Every one's in the same boat. If you've already spent 20 years at the office being mediocre so you can draw a pension while you still have a few teeth left, then what's another hour or two?
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

good books to you

Nothing says Christmas like The Wilder's Christmas show at the Reading Reptile. Full of 'ole timey music, corn pone humor, and family traditions. Yee Haw!

As to Christmas, and the soon-to-be New Year, Warrior Ant Press is releasing it's 2007 list of Pretty Good Books. These are books that captured our attention this year, or at least long enough for us to read them cover-to-cover. Not all of these books were published in 2007, that's just when WAP discovered them. We include them in our 2007 list, because a good book never goes out of style.

Here's fifteen books, in no particular order, and all of them are better than what's on television right now. Read one today.

Finn by Jon Clinch. Wow! No wonder Huck was a little conflicted. As politically incorrect as Twain as just as readable.

Winter's Bone by Daniel Woodrell. 2006, Little, Brown, & Company. Nobody writes about the life of poor Ozark folk as well as Woodrell, and very few writers produce anything that even comes close to this level of storytelling.

A Well-Paid Slave: Curt Flood's Fight for Free Agency in Professional Sports by Brian Synder. 2006, Viking Publishers. You think the public doesn't like Barry Bonds. It's nothing compared to what Flood had to endure when he decided to challenge the monopoly known as Major League Baseball. Flood should be in the Hall of Fame for the legacy of his efforts.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. 2006, Shaye Aerhart Books. A perfect holiday whodunit about going home and confronting the demons of the past.

What is what by Dave Eggers. If this harrowing tale of struggle and triumph doesn't make you stop whining about your difficult life, you should seriously contemplate finding a new therapist.

The Septembers of Shiraz by Dalia Sofer. This book will make you forget the Kite Runner.

The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon. 2007, Harper Collins. Oiih! A Hard-boiled Jewish detective and his Tlingit sidekick try to solve a crime in the Alaskan noir.

Alice Waters & Chez Panisse. by Thomas McNamee. 2007, Penguin Press. You haven't heard the last of Alice Waters till you've been served this tome for dessert. After 35 years of cooking, her marks are still fresh on the plate and there's more to come.

You don't Love Me Yet by Jonathan Lethem. 2007, A book that simultaneously pokes fun at the art world AND romance. What's not to like?

Cross County by Robert Sullivan. 2006. A different sort of travelogue written as if Jack Kerouac had traveled the interstate with his wife and kids fueled by Dunkin' Donuts, truck stop coffee, and seedy motels.

Doubt: A parable by John Patrick Shanley. Shanley's 2005 play won the Pulitzer Prize. It still resonates in our celebrity culture of love/hate and guilty/not guilty. Jury duty coming up? Take this one to the court house and turn some heads.

the unbinding by Walter Kirn. 2006, Anchor Books. An internet novel - now in books!

Under the Sun by Arthur Dorros. 2004 Amulet Books. A boy makes his way through war to a place of hope.

meditations in green by Stephen Wright. 2003. Vintage Paperbacks. The best novel about Vietnam, since, well, Vietnam.

Theft, by Peter Carey. The stuff of paintings - Art world intrigue, romance, and deceit.

elsewhere:
a bitter man lives here
the wilders
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

snowy day, mountain dog



It's true. Rare West Tibetan Mountain Dogs love the snow. Why? They're from the mountains of West Tibet! It snows there. A lot. And they love packing around on snowy mountain trails.

This spirited Rare West Tibetan Mountain Dog goes crazy when it snows! He's like a 10-year from Florida, rolling around in it, making snow angels, licking it. The only thing I haven't yet seen this dog do with snow is make a snowman. He can definitely catch a snowball. And he can pull a sled. And all he asks in return? A biscuit shaped like Frosty. Sit boy. Sit. Yumm. Yumm.

see also:
m.o.i.: rare west tibetan mountain dog

elsewhere:
the not-a-rare-west-tibetan mountain-dog web site
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

your money, in an anthill?

Ahh...for that hard-to-shop for person on your gift list. You could make something, always recommended, but for the person who has more things than they need, then something well-crafted may be under appreciated. We wouldn't want to feel under appreciated.

Warrior Ant Press offers a few options.

How about a liter of Mansinthe - Marilyn Mansions boutique version of absinthe. Drink a bottle of this and you'll likely want to pluck out your own eyebrows and paint them back on. You may even opt for a little pancake makeup before the nights over.

Everyone wants to be healthy. How about a bottle of Human Growth Hormone. And for those of you with drug-testing policies in force at your place of employment, remember, there's still no urine test for Human Growth Hormone!



Tickets to a celebrity trial. Next year we have OJ: I did Vegas My Way; Phil Spector: I've had time to reload; Lindsey Lohan: crash-test dummy;and R.Kelly:I like em young and on film.
The hardest tickets to obtain, seem to be those to trials of Bush Administration officials but we're working hard to see if we can get some.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

the revolution won't be youtubed

This season on the WGA.

Writer Boi.
Original air date, Sunday, Nov. 25, 2007. Probably the most creative of the spate of new episodes to air. Hip-hoppity grooves on the grave of AMPTP. Directed and Edited by: David Schlussel
Shot by: Robert W. Swanson

3 and half pencils.

Speechless: the Episodes.
Premiered Thanksgiving Weekend on Deadline Hollywood Daily. Episodes to date - 21. Currently in reruns on the WGA and YouTube. Writers found themselves with a minor hit on their hands with these short pieces designed for viewers with hearing problems. Shot in a cinema verite style, these short pieces tell the world that this strike is really more about the A-list, than the W-list. After the 20th episode, some actors were left to wonder, "hey, why wasn't I asked to do one of these? have I been down-graded?
2 pencils and an eraser.

Hollywood Unions: Why this is their fight too
Original air date unknown. This episode of why all Hollywood unions share in the misery of writers reads like an office training video. If after 5 (now 6) weeks out, WGA is still trying to convince other unionists why the walkout is a good idea, then the next months are likely going to be intolerable for all union members. The last television show about a labor union member was the Honeymooners; perhaps this was the problem, no real basis for empathy. Walking the picket line can endear a certain amount of comraderie, but face it, no one really wants to have to stoop to begging for a raise, and when one does, it tends to make one feel more down-to-earth than they really prefer to be.
2 pencils and a pair of scissors.

Who's on the Line?
Original air date Tuesday, November 27, 2007.
Directed by Peter Hyoguchi
Edited by Patrick Francis
Music composed by Christopher James Thomas
Documentary about the life of a screenwriter and the jobs they must endure to keep producing scripts from the heart. Follows 4 writers and an assistant through a day on the picket lines. Some endearing moments. Too many kids. Not enough animals.
3 pencils.


Project Strike Life.
Pilot air date. Dec.2, 2007. Zany sitcom about the walking the line from the creative team of Chris Nolan and Laurie Noland. This series gets to the wacky misery at the heart of the YouTube strike experience: improv., music, and ad-libs - The epidsode "Picket Buddy" is a bit like the Larry David Show without the cursing. Yet. 3 episodes to date.
3 and half pencils.

Strike this! YouTube feature by laxhornet. Follows Matt, the writer, on his first day as a striker. Finally. Some satire. And Cursing. Lot's of it.

3 pencils
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

everybody is a star

Doesn't the Grand American pastime have a long history of cheating? Stealing signs, doctoring baseballs in a variety of ways including placing them in the deep freeze, nicking and spitting on them, watering down the base paths, shaving the mound, grooming the foul lines. It's all part of the game. Stories are told in the dugout, in the clubhouse, and in the broadcasting booth until they become folklore. We love them. Do you hate Billy Martin because he drank a little (OK, a lot; maybe he even took an amphetamine or two but who really knows) and stole a few signs along the way to 7 World Series rings or because the Yankees won the World Series when your team was playing them and for all you can say about him, say this? He always played the game to WIN.

Years from now you'll still be telling your grand kids that you saw Barry Bonds hit a home run the last season, the record-breaking season. "Missed seeing the 756 by 3 games. Boy! was he a helluva player. They say he took steroids, but it was never proven. I think he was just a gifted athlete."

It's just a game. Fun to watch. Fun to follow. Fun to dream about. Remember your dreams about making it to the big leagues? And why didn't YOU make the sacrifices needed to get there, or did you just lack the talent?

Don't like MLB. There's always wiffle ball where every one's an Allstar.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

say it ain't so, jodi

There are some surprises on the list of 'players' who have been implicated in Senator George Mitchell's doping investigation. Those include Toby Keith, who once sang the National Anthem during the All-Star game and Homer Simpson, long thought to have gained his strength from beer and donuts, apparently bulked on synthetic testosterone while playing centerfield for the Mets (Episode 137).


Commissioner Bud Selig is praying that no members of the Bad News Bears appear on the list although one certainly has to wonder just how Jodi Foster went from shortstop to vigilante in a few short years. We find out the rest of the story tomorrow.

see also:

m.o.i.:marion jones cleared
m.o.i.: into the clear
m.o.i.: can't touch this*
m.o.i.: name your price
m.o.i.: serious inquiries only
m.o.i.: yankees on hgh
m.o.i: the real problem in baseball
m.o.i: this one's a bitch
m.o.i: got hgh?
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

offended by nothing

The following was sent in by a faithful reader. It details an interesting email exchange about the appropriate use of Holiday displays at the office. We include it here to potentially offset similar encounters before they occur at your workplace.
------------------------------------------
To: All Department Employees

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

I would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a very merry and safe holiday season. Each year at this time many of us participate in holiday celebrations and activities occurring in and out of the office. While this is a time of celebration and joy, we must still be aware that there are rules and regulations which apply to all employees. As a result, the Departmental Ethics Office generally receives a number of questions from employees on the appropriateness of certain holiday activities.

Therefore, in anticipation of the more common questions received by my office, I have provided you with a summary of the rules governing various holiday activities.
Holiday Decorations
The Ethics Office has ruled that while offices may expend appropriated funds for reasonable seasonal decorations, such expenditures should be limited to those for use in the main entrances. central lobbies, or shared work areas of buildings. Seasonal decorations should not endorse, nor appear to endorse, any particular religious or political belief. Company funds may not be used to purchase decorations of a religious nature for private office space, nor for common areas.

Expenditures by the company are not authorized for decorating private areas or areas where the benefit is primarily for the employees who work in that area. However, employees may decorate their office areas, if decorations are purchased with their own funds (emphasis added). Such decorations may reflect the individual's cultural or religious beliefs (for example, a Christmas tree, a depiction of St. Nicholas, a menorah, or a Mkeka and Kinara), provided that such decorations do not interfere with the accomplishment of the employee's official responsibilities.

Wishing you the best this holiday season.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
--------------------------

To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Thank you for clarifying the appropriate use of holday decorations at the office. We are decking the foyer, but not the Halls! Question though. After reading your email guidance, a frustrated employee came to me and asked, "would it be appropriate to display an atheistic holiday display in my cubicle?" My response, based upon your edifying email, was that as long as the display reflected his/hers belief system, then it was appropriate. The employee then left and on their lunch hour constructed such a display. The following morning, a nearby officemate came to me expressing considerable consternation at the display. I suggested that perhaps the best thing to do would be to ignore it, but no, this employee was adamant that the display was in fact highly offensive to them. I looked at the display and found nothing offensive. Can you advise as to the appropriateness of atheistic holiday displays in the office work environment?

A safe holiday to you.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
---------------------------------------

To: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Thanks for your interest in making the holidays fun and safe for all. I have checked with the comptroller as to the appropriateness of such a display within the confines of office space. Unfortunately though, athesism is not currently listed in the departmental guidelines as an official religion and thus is not covered under the Department's holiday guidance. Perhaps as a compromise, you might suggest that the employee in question simplify the display, thereby removing the offensive elements and thus lessening it's effect.

Peace to you this holiday season.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
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To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

What a joy this time of year is! Snow is falling and everyone is making merry - but not on company time! I followed your advice and made the compromise suggestion of simplification. However, I must say that this suggestion was not meet with what one might call the Holiday Spirit. NO! No, indeed. The employee in question said such threats only strenghtened their personal resolve for a public display of beliefs.

Wishing you Joy and Prosperity in the New Year.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
------------------------------------

To: >name redacted for privacy purposes<

From: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

I have met again with consel on this matter. They have suggested that the best approach is to allow the employee to display nothing.

Again, Peace.
Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official
---------------------------------------
To: Michelle Quigley
Designated Agency Ethics Official

From: >name redacted for privacy purposes<
Subject: re: Guidance for the Upcoming Holiday Season

Joyous Holidays indeed. We have successfully resolved the issue. After some soul searching in the off-hours, and upon closer inspection, it was determined by all parties that the display contained nothing of offense.

Your Ally in All things Allah.
>name redacted for privacy purposes<
p.s. A photo of the display is enclosed so that you make your own determination and assure the Department of Ethics that we have made the right choice.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

the only documentary that matters

"People get ready, there's a train 'a comin'." Curtis Mayfield.

When asked early in his career by a sneering journalist, "what makes you guys so different?" Joe Strummer, lead singer of The Clash, shot back, "well, for one thing, we never brush our teeth." This was Alfred Jarry asking for a toothbrush on his death bed and it sent the message to Fleet Street that The Clash didn't give a fuck whether you liked them or not. They did care if you listened though and they worked hard to get people to listen. Helped by art school backgrounds, Strummer and bandmates Mick Jones and Joe Simonon, understood that fame was part talent, part marketing, and part attitude. And the more famous you were, the more people listened. And listen they did.

It was hard to ignore The Clash in the early 80s if you were following punk, interested in politics, or just slightly at odds with the foibles, failures, and lies of the Reagan and Thatcher administrations. "The only band that matters," Epic Records Director of A&R, Bruce Harris, once said about the Clash. It was a statement oft repeated in the heyday of punk, post-punk, and the years since. Of all the people who have agreed with that statement, and there have been many, the one who most certainly would have not agreed with it, was Strummer. The Clash mattered because they made you realize how much the music and politics of Woody Guthrie, Joan Baez, and the Wailers mattered.

In the new documentary, The Future is Unwritten: Joe Strummer, director Julien Temple tells the story of the singer, his early days as the the leader of the 101's, the house band for West London squatters, and how Strummer came to The Clash and led them to the summit of the U.K. and U.S. punk scenes before fame, drugs, and jealousy dismantled them, sending two-thirds of its members into rehab and exiled Strummer into the wilderness of his own soul. It was nearly 10 years before Strummer came out of the woods to back another band, the Mescaleroes.

The film is full of early footage of The Clash, even before they hit it big, much of it culled from Temple's early work following the Sex Pistols. The Clash's first gig was as an opening act for the Sex Pistols. One early scene in the film has Strummer alone in the studio laying down the vocals to White Riot, screaming at the top of his lungs "Everybody does, just what they're told to; nobody wants to go to jail", immersed in the mantra, and oblivious to the world. Stummer's varied musical tastes and love of the genre are woven into the film via archival BBC recordings of song introductions done on London Calling, a radio show that Strummer hosted.

Temple juxtaposes quick edits of old grainy black and white footage with new color images of testimonials shot around campfires and candid interviews with other Clash members, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon, and Topper Headon. During his wilderness period, Strummer discovered how a bonfire could set people at ease and bring out the stories and music in people. Temple reprises the technique here to some effect, although it's two-thirds through the movie before we discover why the campfire scenes. Joe Ely and rapper Melle Mel of the Grandmaster Five, with whom The Clash first toured in the US, share some good stories about how The Clash conquered the US. Melle Mel, also points out that, despite being a visionary, Strummer was a bit of a personal coward, afraid of confrontation. John Cusak sounds like an adoring fan when he describes the bands impact on him, but campfire scenes with Johnny Depp (talking like a pirate!) and Bono seem forced and contrived. When Martin Scorcese says, that although there is no The Clash music in the soundtrack to Raging Bull, it was his inspiration for the film, well, frankly, it's hard to believe.

If you followed The Clash and the punk scene, or even if you just care about music, democracy, and how it's made and why, then this is one film you won't want to miss.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

Damn it! I just can't do this anymore.


Fox has announced that it will not be airing new episodes of the hit series 24 beginning in January, 2008 as expected due to the lingering writer's strike in Hollywood. In it's place, Fox will air 48, a new reality show that follows the exploits of former CTU operative Jack Bauer as he negiotiates the rough and tumble world of the Glendale city jail.

In a related story, the Alliance of Motion Picture and Televison Producers (AMPTP) and striking writers agreed to suspend talks for the entire period of Bauer's time in jail so that tv fans would not have to miss any episodes of 24 without Agent Bauer.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

the big O, a bird dog, and some love

Now the Mike Huckabee has found that the key to Conservative Christians is an endorsement from Walker, Texas Ranger, and Barack has discovered that the secret to capturing the attention of the suburban security mom is to bring on the big O, we thought it about time other candidates got on board the Celebrity Endorsement Train.

Here's a few of Warrior Ant Press recommendations for how other candidates can bring much needed attention to their campaigns with a well-placed celebrity endorsement.

Quaid can demonstrate that he and Edwards still have the hair and a cool attitude.

Tancredo needs to stop being goofy. Together he and his bounty hunter can bird dog the 3,000 mile fence.

Opposites attract?Jenna Elfman, Scientologist and the Mitt the Mormon*. A clash of 2 CULTures?

Fred Thompson's campaign needs a little Love-Hewitt.

Golden boy Paul and material girl Madonna can really deliver a line.

*Editor's note: Some Mormon sects allow multiple flags.
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

a chubby for war


Vice-President Dick "the Dick" Cheney was in Kansas City yesterday, Pearl Harbor Day. The Dick, as those who work for him like to call him, was in town trying to raise money for more military mayhem, thus his stop at the most phallic (complete with testicles) of all U.S. war monuments, the Liberty Memorial. After some chest thumping by his doctor, Cheney was given the ok to strip into his skivvies and run naked in the snow. The WorldWide Headquarters of Warrior Ant Press located just a few blocks away from the event, noticed that in the short time that the VP was in town, the skyies darkened considerably over the city, a cold, bitter wind came down from the north, and at least 25 people were killed in attacks in Iraq.

m.o.i.: dick cheney shakes hands with the devil
m.o.i.: one life to live
m.o.i.: cheney's bunker revealed!
m.o.i.: impeach the dick
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

insane clown posse

When will members of the Bush administration be held accountable for their criminal acts?

Today the New York Times published an article revealing that the C.I.A. destroyed tapes of agents using what they referred to as, extreme interrogation techniques, but many would likely view as torture. The interrogations took place in 2002, and the C.I.A. destroyed the tapes in 2005. On at least 2 occasions prior to their destruction, attorneys for the C.I.A. told federal prosecutors who requested any documents that might show evidence of such "interrogation" techniques that the C.I.A. had none. High ranking C.I.A. officials also told members of the 9/11 commission and members of the House Intelligence Committee that no such documents existed.

Now it appears that they did have such information in the form of videotapes and audiotapes and rather than turn over the requested evidence, it was destroyed. The evidence was also witheld from the trial of Zacarias Moussaoui, who was sentenced to life in prison for his role in the 9/11 attacks. We are not coming to the defense of Mr. Zacarias, but when the government can destroy evidence in trials, can withhold evidence in trials at its discretion, and can deny defendants access to legal counsel, then we have serious problems in this country.

This goes against our entire system of law. Lying to federal prosecutors! Withholding of evidence when specifically requested from Congressional oversight committees. There has to be a modicum of trust between the people and the government or the government will cease to function. The people will, and should, demand this. This was Nixon's downfall. Lying to American public and destroying evidence. Americans won't stand for this bullshit much longer.

There should be immediate calls for a special counsel to investigate the destruction of criminal evidence, and if anyone, anyone is found to be involved in such actions they should be charged with perjury, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy to commit obstruction of justice. It's time to put more people with ties to this morally bankrupt administration of liars, cheats, and thugs behind bars. This includes Porter Goss, who was head of the C.I.A. at the time and who had to have known this was being done. He would have had to ok such an action. It's time for the Bush Administration to retreat to a dungeon of its own making.

elsewhere:
dungeons and dragons
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

the innocents

Today is the feast day of St. Nicholas, known as St. Nicholas Day. Last night, my childlike friends, who are very fond of St. Nicholas and doing well in the world, left a box of sweets on my doorstep. In keeping with the benevolent nature of St. Nicholas, such sweets are meant to be shared, not hoarded.

St. Nicholaus is, among other things, patron saint to children, sailors, and the innocent.

Images of St. Nicholaus by Elizabeth Janovsky
more at:
m.o.i.: xmas, where x = green

elsewhere:
St. Nicholas
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Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

bad thoughts, good america

You never know who you'll run into at a Knitters concert. Stay long enough, you might even meet yourself.

After the first couple of songs in the crowded, overheated confines of Davy's Uptown Ramblers Club, I was having more than a few misgivings about the "Knitters" and their tangled mess of folk, country, and rockabilly. The licks were there, the steady backbeat of professionalism, but where was the heart and soul? Hidden behind the modulated ennui of Excene Cervenca? Brought down to hillbilly-punk mortality by John Doe's cold? I wasn't feeling it, despite, thank god, a smoke-free respite (thanks to Doe's cold) from the usual stuffy confines of the tomb that is Davey's.

Then they launched into an updated version of "I must not think bad thoughts" and shortly thereafter guitarist Dave Alvin keyed me, himself, the band and the crowd into the regenerative power of rock and roll. Very soon, backed with sweet rhythms from DJ Bonebrak, on drums, and Johnny Rae Bartel, on stand-up bass, and help from the good-looking Dead Rock West, the sweat began to pour, the party was on, and the mixed age crowd of acid-hick-punk rocksters was digging a collective grove and a representative portion of all age groups were documenting the experience with cell phone cameras and another round of drinks.
There were birthdays being celebrated, a knitter simultaneously doing the pogo and baby slippers next to the stage, and the understanding that folk and punk music are both about trying to change the world and having a good time in the process. Here's to all that and being in the trenches. Salut. Now go get some dirt and live music beneath your nails.
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