year of the spaniard?

The Spaniards seem to be everywhere these days, at least in the sports arena. Last week they pulled off a victory in the EuroCup final, an event that looms very large the world over - except in America (kinda like low-mileage automobiles). Then Alejandro Valverde pulled off a pretty impressive surge at the end of the Stage One of Le Tour crushing some of the best sprinters in the world in the process. He was wearing yellow today in Paris, a color he may be able to hang to for a while, but it's 3 weeks before the return trip down the Champs-Elyse. Unfortunately the best Spanish rider, Alberto Contador, the defending champ is having to sit this one out because Amory Sports Organization, the organization which hosts Le Tour is making the Astana Team and coach Johan Bruyneel (former coach to Lance the A.) pay for years of speculation about his ethics and the fact that Astana(before Bruyneel) was as dirty as the Russian mob. And finally today, Rafael Nadal rid himself of the Swiss grass jinx and prevailed in the longest final match in Wimbledon history. Those Brits are nothing if not patient. Nadal has now done it on clay and grass in the same year.

So don your red beret and Rioja or Navarra wine. Sante!

trex reviews: modern dog

Trex, the initable Rare West Tibetan Mountain, picked up a copy of moderndog:the lifestyle magazine for modern dogs, during a visit to the vet. He spares no bark in this review.

The mag had me howling for the moon. I mean come'on, Ellen? with her favorite bitch at her side. Who doesn't love that?

Although I did find the article "When Good Dogs Go Bad" a little over-the-top. Sure genes are part of it, but education is the key. I'm not talking the dog's either. Some of the people that call themselves pet-owners, don't have the sense to own a cat, much less a dog. And the article about reducing your dog's eco-footprint! Jeez, sell the SUV you dolt, and quit worrying about tracking my carbon footprint into the house. As my pal Triumph likes to say, "I poop on you."

republicans invest in porn

This is really too funny. El Presidento Bush, who apparently has the foresight of a bush, has stoked the fires of the porn industry with his economic stimulus package. How much porn does $600 buy anyway?

From the PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- An unforeseen and surprising beneficiary of the Economic Stimulus Plan, a plan that George Bush contends will "boost our economy and encourage job creation," has surfaced this week. An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

Jillian Fox, spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites reporting figures to AIMRCo, added, "In a June 15, 2008 survey to our members, thirty two percent of respondents referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership."

AIMRCo is a non-profit organization that specializes in gathering, interpreting and distributing data on the online adult market. Through surveys, interviews, and information analysis, we attempt to assess trends and opportunities in the Internet market capitalized on by adult paysites, affiliate sites, and traffic trading sites. Using our connected network of over 400 paysites and 2000 affiliates/traffic trading sites, we gather the data necessary to make informed market trend assessments.

Contact:
Kirk Mishkin
Tel: 646-552-4754
Email: kirk@aimrco.com
website: http://www.aimrco.com

-----------
We'll tell you what Warrior Ant Press did with its stimulus check next week and it wasn't to buy porn.

celebrating our independence from absurdity

OK, I got my neighborhood association newsletter in the mail this week, and God Bless their souls...I know they're trying. But sometimes I just have to wonder what's going through people's minds. They mean well, but it's as though no one has stopped to question is this really an appropriate use of our resources and police department.

For the second year in a row, the Roanoke Neighborhood association is paying off-duty Kansas City police officers to patrol the neighborhood for 2 hours on July 4th. The purpose? To enforce the city's ban on fireworks. In other words, to enforce the law. We have to hire the police to selectively enforce the law otherwise they won't do it. But it gets better. The off-duty police officers don't actually enforce the law. What they do is the first time they catch you shooting illegal fireworks during this 2-hour window, they warn you that doing so within the city limits is against the law.

Whoa! I'm scared now. And if they catch you a second time, then they not only confiscate your fireworks (is this in the ordinance?) but they also write you a ticket. So if I'm 17 and shooting fireworks, what do you think the chances are that the police would catch me doing it twice. Hell, if I was 17, I'd set off the 1000 pack of Black Cats just to get their attention. Then I'd move to a flanking position, lay down down some smoke bombs to create a little confusion, and fire a buzz bombs over their head. Then beat feet while my buddies on the other side of the park layed down covering fire with a simultaneous launch of 3-dozen bottle rockets.

Last night, the 3rd, it was a virtual war zone in the neighborhood. Guess the POleASE were busy getting paid to enforce a different law. I really could care less if folks blow off fireworks in town, lord knows I've done it many, many times. As long as you don't burn down the house, or blow off your hand, who cares? What I find ridiculous is that our neighborhood hires policemen to sorta enforce the laws and this doesn't strike the board as a little odd and misplaced. Do we also have to hire them to enforce the laws against property theft, bunco scams, and embezzlement? Murder? Speeding? Where does it stop?

All of this got me to thinking that wouldn't it be fun to go to the police and offer to pay them to enforce a law of your choosing? Something that really irritates you. My pal Chappe suggested that it should be the leash law for cats. Apparently cats must be on a leash when outdoors and this really bothers Chappe (a dog person). I thought this was a good idea but only if after the second offense, the police would be forced to drown the cat in a bucket of water they carried expressly for the purpose. The buckey we would provide free of charge (another example of public/private partnerships!) and on the side would be written,

KCMO POLICE DEPT.
CAT DROWNING BUCKET
OFFICIAL USE ONLY

Now don't you think that if one were to go to the Police Headquarters and suggest such a cock-a-mamie idea, that the desk sergeant would have you locked up for 48 hours of observation?

Then why not for the fireworks? If the neighborhood board is so worried about fireworks then maybe we should lock them up in a quiet place over the weekend.

Happy Independence Day. Don't blow off your hand, or burn down your neighbors house, and if you absolutely insist on shooting off fireworks in town, then have the sense to stop after the 1st warning. Or do it after 9:30 pm when the police leave.

save the last dance for her

“The Convention is a political trade show that only happens once every four years and the whole world will be watching. We hope that you will be a part of our Democratic Convention Summit program that will offer substantive policy and political discourse, as well as a unique opportunity to personally connect with national Democratic leaders.”
Nancy Jacobson, Democratic fund-raiser and wife of Democratic pollster Mark Penn, speaking to the NYTimes about her $10,000,by invitation only, Democratic National Convention event with candidates, policy makers and the glitterati.

For the $10K, Ms. Jacobson promises at least three “private small group meetings with governors, senators and thought leaders (including Kevin Spacey and Laura Dern!)” and lunch with senior Obamaites at the Ritz-Carlton. The option is being offered to the tired, huddled masses yearning to choose the Democratic nominee for the leader of the free world. “This is for people who are looking for something more substantive rather than going from reception to reception.” Like...sex with the rich and powerful?

We're planning on attending but only if She & Him (M.Ward and Zooey Deschanel) agree to play at the Organic Small Batch Bourbon tasting to be held at a location-to-be-disclosed-via-text-message 15 minute before said soiree begins. I can't wait to trade shots with the Clintons and ask Michelle Obama for a dance.

unexpected aerial bombardment of warrior ant press

The WorldWide Headquarters of Warrior Ant Press was stoned early this evening by quarter-size hail dropped from on high. Ants caught in the open unawares, were seen scampering for cover. A flash-flood watch was issued for the antill and workers were temporarily re-located to the Big House. Updates at 10.

my faith-based initiative

Dudes! and Dudettes! I know you can't do anything unless you're elected but do we really have to become a Republican in order to be elected President of this great country? Obama's ringing endorsement of increasing the role of faith-based initiatives of the Bush Administration is making me wonder if Joe Lieberman isn't on his short list of VP candidates. That, and his support of the FISA bill are making me contemplate voting for Frank Moore.

One wonders if Obama considers the fine work that the Trinity United Methodist Church has done (and continues to do) to be one of these bright, shining examples of the private sector helping the poor. Wasn't empowerment the body politic of Rev. Wright's ministry?

What these safe, middle-of-the-road stances really tells me is that Obama is courting several camps that the Republicans have either held, or made strong in-roads into during recent elections. Conservation Christians, blacks, and Hispanics. Given John McCain's shifting stance on abortion and electric fences along our Southern border, the conservatives are leery of him. If Obama can move enough of these votes over to the Dem side, then he can likely off-set the small, but still vocal minority of racists who won't vote for him under any circumstance.

And General Westmoreland is correct. Being a prisoner-of-war, although sad and worthy of our prayers, does not qualify one to be President. Find anoher excuse if you must to vote for McGruff the Crime Dog. If being a POW did matter, then Nit Nomney could turn himself over to Al Queda and be successful in 2012. Unlikely on both counts.


Elsewhere:
the just make sense party

ohio state buckeye fencing team rattles sabers in the white house

Kansas Citian and member of the Ohio State Buckeye NCAA Champion fencing team was recently pointing his saber at the Supreme Allied Commander in, of all places, the White House. That's John Friend, graduate of the once nationally reknowned Central High School fencing program, in the back row with the candelabra growing out of his skull.

Cheers Champion.

flance recieves maillot t-shirt

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true or is it something worse? Bruce Springsteen

Flance, aka Floyd Landis, lost his last appeal of his 2006 superhuman ascent of Le Tour today leaving him with only the Maillot Jaune t-shirt. Flance's fall from grace has all the earmarks of an epic tragedy in the making, although it would seem the end has yet to be written.

For those of you who have forgotten, this year's edition of Le Tour begins on Saturday the 5th - without Team Astana, which means without the best team and the defending champion. We'll see if anyone watches without the dopers.

cloaked in patriotism

Barack Obama was in Independence, Missouri today saying you don't have to wear a flag-lapel pin to be a patriot and then he wears one anyway! When's a politician in this country going to have the guts to tell people they're friggin' stupid with the 'git her done' mentality?

If we're going to require candidates to wear a lapel pin, then shouldn't we also require them to have a Precious Moments "America You're Beautiful" figurine on the dash? on their desk? in their shower?

force mulberry

Here's why it's a good idea to paddle when the river's up, or in flood stage - the overflow channel. A quiet place, except for the birds, turtles, snakes, beavers, muskrats, logjam riffles, and the occasional plink, plink, plink of mulberries dropping on your boat. Overflow channels, as the name implies, are largely inaccessible except during high water and because they lie at the interface of woods and river, they are teeming with wildlife. The also offer shelter from the sun and wind which are just beginning their summer-time impersonation of an industrial blow-dryer.

Find an overflow channel near you and practice your forward sweep.

art of the car concours: cycles, touring sedans, and micro-cars

1915 Indian Motorocycle


Triumph


1959 German engineering, the Isetta

the year of living biblically

I've been reading The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs, who's at least a big a skeptic as am I when it comes to religion. The book is interesting and funny and gives ample justice to the wacky parts of the bible as well as the more serious ones. The gist of the The Year of Living Biblically is that Jacob (his bible name) tries to live the book as literally as possible for 365 straight days. It sounds easier than it is, even if you're trying real hard to do it.

Of course, once it's been decided that one will live biblically then one first has to decide what that means. Old School or New School? Deuteronomy or Matthew? Abraham or Jesus? Torah, King James Revised, or the Good Word? Pick and choose, or take it all? During Jacob's spiritual journey he consults all sorts of biblical scholars and viewpoints from Ezekial to Marcus Borg, to Leviticus, to a Shatnez tester, to Appalachian snake-handlers. It fun, thought-provoking, and quietly inspirational.

That spirit, the spirit of being biblical, is what purportedly led the Chassid, Matisyahu (literally gift of God), to take up singing reggae, rap, and rock to the misaligned youth of today. It couldn't have been the kosher kitchen (because they don't keep one) that led him to Grinders Sculpture Park this week. Technically the venue name is CrossRoads KC at Grinders but on Tuesday, Matisyahu was there intoning Bob Marley, the Grateful Dead, and Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach just after the sun went down. His voice seemed a little over-worked but like A.J.'s book, it was a nice summer breeze. Due to the all-ages nature of the show, the air was full of cell-phone cameras, patchouli, and home-grown.

And because ticket sales were slow, CrossRoads offered a last minute, golden, two-for-the-price-of-one ticket. In the spirit of Jacob, I gave my extra ticket to the most devout looking person I could find hanging out near the gate, meaning the person with the most unkempt beard. He was either a rabbinical student or a homeless person, but he got a ticket to Matisyahu.

When the person at the gate asked for ID to prove I was 21, I grabbed my beard at the chin between my fist and said, "good enough?"

"No! Got to see ID."

"Pray for reason." I said.

Her partner slapped a wristband on me.

Once inside I looked up the diminutive impressario Stretch to see if kept a kosher kitchen. He smiled, "pepperoni's a problem." Then I went to the bar. "What do you got that's kosher?" I asked the waifish, tie-dyed, Bedouin behind the bar.

All I got was shrug. I'd have settled for a smirk. "Gin and tonic then with a lime twist. A double."

"You'd have thought they'd of had something!" said the person next to me in line.

I took the drink, tipped the barkeep and then told em both. "Boulevard Pale Ale is kosher. Check the bottle."

Maytisyahu fulfilled some standard myths and some non-standard ones. His head remained covered while in public even when jumping on and off the 8-ft. tall speakers (this small act sent the crowd into a tizzy; "Look, up in the sky, a Jew!"), tassels attached to the corners of his shirt, keeping the beard, and dancing and whirling about the stage like Tevye. From our vantage point at the front-row corner of the stage we were able to witness the roadie refilling Matishyahu's stage glass more than a few times with a cold malty beverage. No doubt the kosher Boulevard Pale Ale. A perfect summer, Reggaeton brew.

En la sombra de La Giralda: blog con leche

My pal John, the only person I know with the work Jerk tatooed on his arm, has been on a teaching gig in Spain. His return to the states marks "the first time in his adult life that he's been proud of his country"[oh, wait, that's someone else's line], his chance to be forced to travel by automobile for simple errands that can easily be done by foot or mass transit in most other parts of the world, or his chance to make you realize that he's typically a lot more brutually honest about his feelings than moi.

In the Jerk's honor, we are turning the blagh over to him for a day. Read on ants!
__

As i sit here in Seville, Spain, feeling as if i've been beaten in the head with a brick, i can't help but complete my long overdue promise to inform the people who read this blog about something more than jerky. maybe it's the "heroic" (or maybe it was anti-heroic?) amount of booze i drank last night or the TONS OF FUN that i've been having, but something has flipped a switch and i now feel as if other people's wants do matter. strange, huh? i think i've used up a lifetime of leisure time and now all that's left is work.

i have been studying spanish for 19 of the 24 years of my life. i learned in an full-immersion environment and am completely convinced that it is the absolute best and easiest way to learn a language. that is why i am now in spain. i decided that it was time for me to immerse myself again so that i could recover the fluency that i had lost. the coolest part about being here and being an "adult" is that i now get to go to bars and hang out on the street with delinquents and hear people fight and swear and insult each other and generally have a good time. in spanish. learning how to swear is one of the most important parts of learning a new language. it doesn't matter if your grammar is good or not if you can insult someone's mother in their native tongue. i usually get bored with conversations that don't involve elaborate wordplay and mind numbingly stupid puns, so i often occupy myself with accumulating funny sounding turns of phrase. one of my personal favorites is the use of the word "leche" in spanish slang. if you've at all studied spanish in high school, you probably know that "leche" means milk. the main difference between europeans and americans is that europeans have been living in the same places for, like, more than 1000 years. this leaves a lot of time for linguistic drift (the forming of new languages/dialects) and a lot of time for expressions to evolve. of course, spanish folks have always had milk, so i imagine that it's use in slang is much older than just the last 40 years (cool, dude). here's a list of some phrases using "leche" and their equivalent english meanings:

"corred cagando leches" = "hurry the hell up"
"cago en la leche!" = "i fucked up"
"...a todo leche" = "all the way up" (kind of depends on what you're talking about. like, "the radio was turned all the way up")
"es la leche" = "it's the shit"

these are hilarious of you literally translate them:

"run shitting milks"
"i shit the milk"
"at full milk"
"it's the milk"

i have no idea how this usage came about, but it is infinitely entertaining. i can't stop myself from using it! now, my equivalent translations i used above may be a little strong considering the spanish versions are not necessarily considered swears, but they can carry a varying amount of force depending on how you use them. translating swear words is one of the most interesting things i've encountered in all of my language studies. i've spent the entire nine months i've been here trying to figure out a way to literally translate my favorite insult ("go fuck yourself") into spanish. it's not that hard to literally translate it, but yelling "vete a joder a si mismo" doesn't have a lot of art to it. it's much more effective to use the already common "vete al carajo!" or "vete a la mierda" which literally means "go to the boner" or "go to the shit" respectively. they each have the same force, but don't mean the same thing literally. it's all about matching the force of the expression instead of the meaning. another example would be using the word "fucking" as an adjective. in spanish, it's uncommon to say "el jodido presidente" (which literally means "the fucked president), but it's really common to say "el puto presidente" (literally meaning "the whore president"). "puta/o" means whore, but it is often used in the same way as we would use "fucking." now, these expressions are much closer in literal meaning to ours, but the "leche" ones can carry the same force as any of these depending on how you use them.

i know i was supposed to be here reading about Don Juan Manuel and the Archipreste de Hita and all that jazz, but i decided that was not something that interested me. it's never been that fun to study the dead parts of a language or a culture. i'm more interested in studying the living parts. it's the milk.

read more of the jerk's work at:
En la sombra de La Giralda

over the transom and under the radar

Don't hear much about people being vindicated after being erroneously charged under the so-call US Patriot Act so this one's for the Patriots who are still listening.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Subject: ARTIST CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES IN PRECEDENT-SETTING CASE

CONTACTS:
Email: media@caedefensefund.org
Dr. Steven J. Kurtz: (716) 812-2968
Lucia Sommer, CAE Defense Fund: (716) 359-3061
Edmund Cardoni, Hallwalls Contemporary Arts Center: (716) 854-1694

ARTIST CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES IN PRECEDENT-SETTING CASE
Department of Justice Fails to Appeal Dismissal
Kurtz Speaks about Four-Year Ordeal

Buffalo, NY--Dr. Steven Kurtz, a Professor of Visual Studies at SUNY at Buffalo and cofounder of the award-winning art and theater group Critical Art Ensemble, has been cleared of all charges of mail and wire fraud. On April 21, Federal Judge Richard J. Arcara dismissed the government's entire indictment against Dr. Kurtz as "insufficient on its face." This means that even if the actions alleged in the indictment (which the judge must accept as "fact") were true, they would not constitute a crime. The US Department of Justice had thirty days from the date of the ruling to appeal. No action has been taken in this time period, thus stopping any appeal of the dismissal. According to Margaret McFarland, a spokeswoman for US Attorney Terrance P. Flynn, the DoJ will not appeal Arcara's ruling and will not seek any new charges against Kurtz.

For over a decade, cultural institutions worldwide have hosted Kurtz and Critical Art Ensemble's educational art projects, which use common science materials to examine issues surrounding the new biotechnologies. In 2004 the Department of Justice alleged that Dr. Kurtz had schemed with colleague Dr. Robert Ferrell of the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public Health to illegally acquire two harmless bacteria cultures for use in one of those projects. The Justice Department further alleged that the transfer of the material from Ferrell to Kurtz broke a material transfer agreement, thus constituting mail fraud.

Under the USA PATRIOT Act, the maximum sentence for these charges was increased from five years to twenty years in prison.

Dr. Kurtz has been fighting the charges ever since. In October 2007, Dr. Ferrell pleaded to a lesser misdemeanor charge after recurring bouts of cancer and three strokes suffered since his indictment prevented him from continuing the struggle.

KURTZ SUMS UP END OF FOUR-YEAR NIGHTMARE
Finally vindicated after four years of struggle, Kurtz, asked for a statement, responded stoically: "I don't have a statement, but I do have questions. As an innocent man, where do I go to get back the four years the Department of Justice stole from me? As a taxpayer, where do I go to get back the millions of dollars the FBI and Justice Department wasted persecuting me? And as a citizen, what must I do to have a Justice Department free of partisan corruption so profound it has turned on those it is sworn to protect?"

Said Kurtz's attorney, Paul Cambria, "I am glad an innocent man has been vindicated. Steve Kurtz stared in the face of the federal government and a twenty-year prison term and never flinched, because he believes in his work and his actions were those of a completely innocent man. Clients like him are a blessing, and although I have had many important victories, this one
stands at the top of the list."

As coordinator of the CAE Defense Fund, a group organized to support Kurtz from the beginning of the case, Lucia Sommer sees the end of the prosecution as bittersweet, and like Kurtz, is thoughtful about the broader significance of the case: "This ruling is the best possible ending to a horrible ordeal--but we are mindful of numerous cases still pending, and the grave injustices perpetrated by the Bush administration following 9/11. This case was part of a larger picture, in which law enforcement was given expanded powers. In this instance, the Bush administration was unsuccessful in its attempt to erode Americans' constitutional rights."

Referring to the international outcry the case provoked, involving fundraisers and protests held on four continents, Sommer said, "The government has unlimited resources to bring and prosecute these kinds of charges, but the accused often don't have any resources to defend themselves. This victory could never have happened without the activism of thousands of people. Supporters protested, vocally opposed the prosecution, and refused to let it go on in silence. And without their efforts at fundraising, Kurtz and Ferrell would not have been able to defend themselves from these false accusations."

Sommer added that the next step for the defense will be to get back all of the materials taken by the FBI during its 2004 raid on the Kurtz home, including several completed art projects, as well as Dr. Kurtz's lab equipment, computers, books, manuscripts, notes, research materials, and personal belongings. The four confiscated art projects are the subject of an exhibition entitled SEIZED on view at Hallwalls Contemporary Arts Center in Buffalo, NY, through July 18: http://www.hallwalls.org/visual_shows/2008/show_seized.html .

BACKGROUND TO THE CASE
The case originated in May 2004, when Kurtz's wife Hope died of heart failure as the couple was preparing a project about genetically modified agriculture for the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art. Police who responded to Steve Kurtz's 911 call deemed the Kurtzes' art materials suspicious and alerted the FBI. Kurtz explained that the materials (legally and easily obtained basic life science equipment and two harmless bacteria samples) had already been displayed at museums throughout Europe and North America with absolutely no risk to the public. However, the following day, Kurtz was illegally detained for 22 hours on suspicion of bioterrorism, as dozens of agents from the FBI, Joint Terrorism Task Force, Homeland Security, Department of Defense, ATF, and numerous other law enforcement agencies raided his home, seizing his personal and professional belongings. After a federal grand jury refused to charge Kurtz with bioterrorism, Kurtz and Ferrell were indicted on two counts of mail fraud and two counts of wire fraud concerning the acquisition of of harmless bacteria for one of Critical Art Ensemble's educational art projects. (Critical Art Ensemble is the recipient of numerous awards for its projects, including the prestigious 2007 Andy Warhol Foundation Wynn Kramarsky Freedom of Artistic Expression Grant, in recognition of twenty years of distinguished work:
http://www.creative-capital.org/index2.html .)

The Department of Justice brought the charges in spite of the fact that the alleged "victims of fraud"--American Type Culture Collection and the University of Pittsburgh--never filed any charges or complained of any wrongdoing, and the fact that in bringing the charges the Department of Justice was acting completely outside its own Prosecution Policy Relating to Mail Fraud and Wire Fraud(http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/eousa/foia_reading_room/usam/title9/43mcrm.htm ).

For more information and extensive documentation, including the Judge's dismissal, please visit: http://caedefensefund.org
***

matisyahu: visual reviews of aural entertainment

matisyahu, grinder's sculpture park, kansas city, mo.
June 24th, 2008 estimated attendance 1200, not counting the rabbi's (who got in free).

other reviews in the series:
m.o.i.: eldar
m.o.i.: elvis costello and the attractions
m.o.i.: the police
m.o.i.: the swell season
m.o.i.: anne-sophie mutter
m.o.i.: pat metheny trio
m.o.i.: mars volta and isabel bayrakdarian

obamaites respond to charlie black

In response to the recent comments by Charlie Black, senior campaign advisor to Senator John McCain,whereby he suggested that McCain would benefit from another 9/11-like terrorist attack, several Obama supporters responded, "Oh yeah? Well the Obama campaign would benefit if John McCain were to be captured by Al Queda and held for another 6 years as a prisoner-of-war!"

don't try this at home

Last weekend I inadvertently tried to kill myself with food poisoning. When the sign says $10 off per pound for Alaskan Coho Salmon, it's not always a good idea to buy it, even if the fish passes the smell test, the color test, and the firmness test. And if you cook it rare, like you can with high quality fish, then you're taking your life in your own hands. Oh, and if you save the leftovers and scramble them the next morning with a couple of eggs, yep you got it, you're going to be using the 7 words you can't say on television for the next 24-48 hours. Repeatedly.

One thing the experience did teach me though is how inter-connected your intestinal system is with the rest of your body. If you place a toxin in your stomach and it migrates to your intestinal tract and god forbid starts replicating, the entire rest of your body will freak out.

"AhhOOOgah. AhhOOOgah. AhhOOOgah. We've got a major problem in sector 5." "Roger. Cease all motor skills, shut down the cooling system, increase the heart rate, AND NO ONE SLEEPS till we get a handle on this!"

"Eye. Captain, but it's not working, sector 5 is on failsafe."

"Expunge! Expunge! Expunge!"


But you can say them on the internet. Funny how free speech works.

B'Tselem: shooting back with images

Video from the Israeli Information Center for Human Rights in the Occupied Territories project called "Shooting Back." They supply video cameras to people that live in the occupied territories in order to document human-rights abuses that frequently occur against Palestinians by the occupied forces.

For the record they are against all forms of indiscriminate violence, including that by Palestinian reactionaries. Watch this video about children living in a cave (there are even more disturbing ones at the B'Tselem web site) and think it about as you listen to the Presidential candidates begin to court the Jewish vote for the upcoming election. We need a sane policy toward the Middle East, and that would be have to different that one we've been operating under for the last 8 years. To assume that the Israelis can do no wrong is to assume that neither can the Palestinians. We know this isn't true.

B'Tselem in Hebrew literally means "in the image of," and is also used as a synonym for human dignity. The word is taken from Genesis 1:27 "And God created humans in his image. In the image of God did He create him." It is in this spirit that the first article of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that "All human beings are born equal in dignity and rights."

[OK, forget the sexist language, it was a different time.]

Elsewhere:
b'tselem

are your neighbors a terror? then turn them in!

I received the following recently from my community policeman.

My favorite line, "In today’s world, many of us observe situations linked to the activities or support of terrorism that go unreported to law enforcement officials." Uhh, really. Please name one that's gone upreported? Other than the war itself?
--------------------------------------------------

To my Community Partners; yesterday I attended a meeting with Captain Mike _____ and Officer Shawn _____, Homeland Security Unit regarding the training of community members on understanding, identifying and documenting possible terrorist activity. In today’s world, many of us observe situations linked to the activities or support of terrorism that go unreported to law enforcement officials. Central Patrol would like to present two open training sessions for the community and looking for partners to host such training. A day class and early evening class would allow all the opportunity to attend. If your organization has the space and willing to host such an event, please contact me to discuss possible dates. The training will be provided as a free service from the KCPD Homeland Security Division and will be open to all in the public. Once the dates are set, I will send an invitation for all to attend.

-------------------------
My friend Pete has volunteered to hold the meeting in the anthrax lab he created in the basement of the children's bookstore. All I can say is that he needs to find some different cows (suggest bloated carasses floating in Mississippi flood waters) from which to harvest his strain since none of his children have managed yet to die, or even get sick, although they do complain a lot when they don't get ice cream at least once a week from Murray's. One can't fault them for that - it is summer after all.

Image: Roy M. Cohn and Senator Joseph McCarthy conferring during the Army-McCarthy hearings / World Telegram & Sun photo by Herman Hiller. Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division. New York World-Telegram and the Sun Newspaper Photograph Collection.