something for everyone
This morning I awoke with a start saying the words, "something for everyone." Huh? Something for everyone? What could that mean? The previous evening I'd watched an episode of 24 (2:00 to 3:00 pm) just before retiring, apparently forgetting that the week before the 1:00 to 2:00 pm episode of 24 had given me a nightmare that included at least one child abduction, torture, gunplay, and a broken leg. Somehow I don't think 24 is something for everyone.
And then I remembered. I'd forgotten to participate in the free Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast from 6-10 am. Life if full of choices and sometimes we just can't get to them all, even if they are for everyone.
And then I remembered. I'd forgotten to participate in the free Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast from 6-10 am. Life if full of choices and sometimes we just can't get to them all, even if they are for everyone.
top this: presidential pup redemption
A friend brought me a pack of topps® Obama trading cards which, considering that everything, and I do mean everything seems to be branded with Obama's image, is only unique in that these cards are the inaugural edition. I'm guessing that if things work out for Topps®, then there might even be a second, Presidential edition.
We love trading cards. But they seem to have to expanded into all realms of popular culture. I remember as we were preparing to invaded Iraq, a well-place mole from the Bush administration must have talked someone at Topps° into introducing Freedom Cards. These were a series of cards about top Bush Administration officials and high-ranking members of the military. Government propaganda designed to appeal to 13-year teenage boys and repressed Republicans (how do you tell them apart?). There was no card of Bush with a puppy in this deck but there was one of 43 in a flight suit looking stern.
The Topps® Obama cards have some super secret cards inserted, including a high school basketball card (I wonder if they photo-shopped a 44 on his jersey) and a presidential pup redemption card. The pup card is the hardest card of all to get (odds are 1 in 384) and its existence begs the question? What the hell is presidential pup redemption? Find the card, get a free puppy? Find the card and you can take it to the White House for free entry for you and your puppy? A certificate to have your dog spayed or neutered? A free rabies and distemper vaccine?
The most bizzare set of trading ever given to me was a deck of Kennedy Assassination cards. These included Never before released autospy images! and for obvious reasons, were difficult to trade if not to even examine.
stupendous stupor
My only comment about the game is that Bruce should take his own advice, "you gotta get out while you're young"
logo by felix sockwell via the nytimes
poem for stupor bowl sunday
After working sixty hours again for what reason
by Bob Hicok
The best job I had was moving a stone
from one side of the road to the other.
This required a permit which required
a bribe. The bribe took all my salary.
Yet because I hadn’t finished the job
I had no salary, and to pay the bribe
I took a job moving the stone
the other way. Because the official
wanted his bribe, he gave me a permit
for the second job. When I pointed out
that the work would be best completed
if I did nothing, he complimented
my brain and wrote a letter
to my employer suggesting promotion
on stationery bearing the wings
of a raptor spread in flight
over a mountain smaller than the bird.
Read the rest @:
the poetry foundation
by Bob Hicok
The best job I had was moving a stone
from one side of the road to the other.
This required a permit which required
a bribe. The bribe took all my salary.
Yet because I hadn’t finished the job
I had no salary, and to pay the bribe
I took a job moving the stone
the other way. Because the official
wanted his bribe, he gave me a permit
for the second job. When I pointed out
that the work would be best completed
if I did nothing, he complimented
my brain and wrote a letter
to my employer suggesting promotion
on stationery bearing the wings
of a raptor spread in flight
over a mountain smaller than the bird.
Read the rest @:
the poetry foundation
say no to daschle
m.o.i. really thinks that if we're serious about change then we have to stop allowing powerful people, who engage in criminal activity, off the hook and letting them succeed to even more powerful positions in the government. I'm talking about Timothy Geithner, recently confirmed as Treasury Secretary, and Tom Daschle, who is nominated for a cabinet position, Secretary of Health and Human Services. Come on, F these people Obama. How can your administration send a message to the American people that things are different if initial members of your adminstration are corrupt? Let's play tough Chicago politics and cut our losses now. Say no to Tom Daschle.
barack obama's e-dress
I have Biggie O's e-dress; I just can't share it with you. Now I just need a Blackberry.Note: image blurred for obvious reasons.
m.o.i.: self-portrait with 25 random things
Some things whirl around the web with the rapidity of the Concorde and then disappear with the same fanfare as transatlantic flights by said bird. YouTube mash-ups of Put a Ring On It, recipes for what to do with 2 lbs of bacon and 2 lbs of sausage, and 25 random things. Web versions of a chain letter and just as easy to ignore. Typically m.o.i's first impulse, as with any movie deemed a blockbuster, is to ignore them. But here's another thought. That collectively, such exercises get to the heart of who we really are, much better than any survey questions designed by professionals to carefully elicit our thoughts and feelings. It's a the-sum-is-greater-than-the-whole-of-the-parts is greater than the sum of the all the parts approach. Certainly these methods are inherently contrived, but are they completely flawed? From a pure science standpoint, as experiments they aren't carefully controlled, but tell me one method that doesn't bias the final result in at least some small manner.
OK. Fiction. However true it may be, fiction is but a small part of the human stamp. No one could ever argue that everything people say about themselves is entirely without contrivance and that includes the best fiction. Although, as a rule, it's generally still truer than reality and a lot more interesting.
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m.o.i.: 24 random things
1. I once pulled a rabbit out of a hat.
2. Have accidentally set fire to three houses of which I was a resident. No one was hurt and they were all extinguished before the fire department was needed. For this reason I do not smoke.
3. Have been attacked by a swarm of bees on three separate occasions. I still enjoy honey.
4. Once, I led a successful boycott of businesses based upon the principle, Ketchup in bottles! And not in packets! For this I was invited to visit with the principle, labeled a trouble-maker, and had my transcripts reviewed.
5. Once, through the use of well-placed carbon copies, I stopped the closing of a children’s day-care center. For this I was invited to visit with the Dean of Academic Affairs, labeled a trouble-maker, and had my transcripts reviewed.
6. Once, I sunk a battleship using only small explosives.
7. I once accidentally lassoed a Shriner from a midget car during a parade without harming either the Shriner or innocent by-standers.
8. Once I spent three days in a swamp trying to find an Ivory Billed Woodpecker. Alas, the Lord God bird was not sighted, but evidence of woodpecker researcher nesting boxes was abundant. I also uncovered the existence of a secret woodpecker society that included Mike Huckabee, then Governor of Arkansas, among its members.
9. I once changed the spam filter of the office bully to prevent him from receiving emails from THE BOSS, then was lucky enough to hear the BOSS shout at him a few weeks later, “Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but if you don’t shape up, you’re outta here!”
10. Once, during a business meeting, I taught someone how to have ‘text-message’ sex.
11. I once burned an American flag after hearing my friend preach from the pulpit about the Apostle Paul.
12. Once, I discovered my neighbor’s body lying in a state of rigor mortis. And I have seen the life slowly slip, very slowly slip away, from more than one friend.
13. I tried to convince a roomful of scientists that it was in their best interests to believe in UFOs.
14. I once golf-leafed a copy of the original (vol.1, no. 1) postcyberpunk comic, Transmetropolitan, and sent it to a magistrate who had stood in judgment of me.
15. Once, I was saved, fell into a trance, spoke in tongues, and handled venomous snakes.
16. I once drove a car off a cliff just to see what would happen. I did not wear my seatbelt, nor were any drugs or alcohol involved. No one was hurt.
17. The only time I ever rode a skateboard I dislocated my ankle and broke it in 2 places. The subsequent rehabilitation, which lasted nearly a year, and involved for a time, a full-leg cast, turned out to be boon for hitchhiking.
18. I once sang with Sheryl Crow, defeated a former PGA champion (Payne Stewart) in a golf match, and dated a Miss America contestant.
19. I once proved to the band, The Accelerators, that their founder and lead singer, Bruce Willis, was a wanker with a little dick.
20. I began my professional career in a dumpster buried in the middle of corn field.
21. And then later, much to the amusement of my friends and colleagues, when I was interviewed on Morning Edition, they got my name wrong. Not my last name, my first.
22. Once I was dying of a brain tumor, but sadly, it turned out only to be a case of mild depression. It was during that period that I was able to convince a cab driver that Trex, my Rare West Tibetan Mountain Dog, was a seeing-eye dog.
23. I once traded pink slips (a 1960 Dodge 440 for a 1940 Chevy pickup) at a garage sale. Straight up.
24. Once while playing backgammon in a discothèque in Memphis I managed to lose ALL but $5 using a back-game gambit then had to bicycle 100 miles through NE Arkansas in the middle of August to get home.
25. I once dropped to the ground and gave 50.
OK. Fiction. However true it may be, fiction is but a small part of the human stamp. No one could ever argue that everything people say about themselves is entirely without contrivance and that includes the best fiction. Although, as a rule, it's generally still truer than reality and a lot more interesting.
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
m.o.i.: 24 random things
1. I once pulled a rabbit out of a hat.
2. Have accidentally set fire to three houses of which I was a resident. No one was hurt and they were all extinguished before the fire department was needed. For this reason I do not smoke.
3. Have been attacked by a swarm of bees on three separate occasions. I still enjoy honey.
4. Once, I led a successful boycott of businesses based upon the principle, Ketchup in bottles! And not in packets! For this I was invited to visit with the principle, labeled a trouble-maker, and had my transcripts reviewed.
5. Once, through the use of well-placed carbon copies, I stopped the closing of a children’s day-care center. For this I was invited to visit with the Dean of Academic Affairs, labeled a trouble-maker, and had my transcripts reviewed.
6. Once, I sunk a battleship using only small explosives.
7. I once accidentally lassoed a Shriner from a midget car during a parade without harming either the Shriner or innocent by-standers.
8. Once I spent three days in a swamp trying to find an Ivory Billed Woodpecker. Alas, the Lord God bird was not sighted, but evidence of woodpecker researcher nesting boxes was abundant. I also uncovered the existence of a secret woodpecker society that included Mike Huckabee, then Governor of Arkansas, among its members.
9. I once changed the spam filter of the office bully to prevent him from receiving emails from THE BOSS, then was lucky enough to hear the BOSS shout at him a few weeks later, “Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but if you don’t shape up, you’re outta here!”
10. Once, during a business meeting, I taught someone how to have ‘text-message’ sex.
11. I once burned an American flag after hearing my friend preach from the pulpit about the Apostle Paul.
12. Once, I discovered my neighbor’s body lying in a state of rigor mortis. And I have seen the life slowly slip, very slowly slip away, from more than one friend.
13. I tried to convince a roomful of scientists that it was in their best interests to believe in UFOs.
14. I once golf-leafed a copy of the original (vol.1, no. 1) postcyberpunk comic, Transmetropolitan, and sent it to a magistrate who had stood in judgment of me.
15. Once, I was saved, fell into a trance, spoke in tongues, and handled venomous snakes.
16. I once drove a car off a cliff just to see what would happen. I did not wear my seatbelt, nor were any drugs or alcohol involved. No one was hurt.
17. The only time I ever rode a skateboard I dislocated my ankle and broke it in 2 places. The subsequent rehabilitation, which lasted nearly a year, and involved for a time, a full-leg cast, turned out to be boon for hitchhiking.
18. I once sang with Sheryl Crow, defeated a former PGA champion (Payne Stewart) in a golf match, and dated a Miss America contestant.
19. I once proved to the band, The Accelerators, that their founder and lead singer, Bruce Willis, was a wanker with a little dick.
20. I began my professional career in a dumpster buried in the middle of corn field.
21. And then later, much to the amusement of my friends and colleagues, when I was interviewed on Morning Edition, they got my name wrong. Not my last name, my first.
22. Once I was dying of a brain tumor, but sadly, it turned out only to be a case of mild depression. It was during that period that I was able to convince a cab driver that Trex, my Rare West Tibetan Mountain Dog, was a seeing-eye dog.
23. I once traded pink slips (a 1960 Dodge 440 for a 1940 Chevy pickup) at a garage sale. Straight up.
24. Once while playing backgammon in a discothèque in Memphis I managed to lose ALL but $5 using a back-game gambit then had to bicycle 100 miles through NE Arkansas in the middle of August to get home.
25. I once dropped to the ground and gave 50.
hallejuah for maria kalman
Children's book author and artist Maria Kalman's illustrated op-ed piece in the NY Times is the best thing you'll read about the Obama inauguration. Glorious and inspirational.
maria kalman on the obama inauguration
maria kalman on the obama inauguration
most things right
"I didn't do anything wrong and have done most things right." Impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich. The former governor is one of the best arguments for affordable health-care for all Americans I've ever seen.
"He asked me for another cup of coffee, he obviously forgot I was a Congressman" Former Governor Rod Blagojevich speaking about Sen. John Warner, who, mistaking the then freshman Congressman for a staffer, asked the Congressman for a cup of coffee, not once, but twice in a matter of two weeks. "I didn't tell him I wasn't a Congressman, instead I went and asked him how do you take it, and he said black."
The deposed governor asked, "how can you throw a Governor out of office?" The answer is 59 to 0.
"He asked me for another cup of coffee, he obviously forgot I was a Congressman" Former Governor Rod Blagojevich speaking about Sen. John Warner, who, mistaking the then freshman Congressman for a staffer, asked the Congressman for a cup of coffee, not once, but twice in a matter of two weeks. "I didn't tell him I wasn't a Congressman, instead I went and asked him how do you take it, and he said black."
The deposed governor asked, "how can you throw a Governor out of office?" The answer is 59 to 0.
problems are rearing their ugly head
H.R. 1. Making supplemental appropriations for job preservation and creation, infrastructure investment, energy efficiency and science, assistance to the unemployed, and State and local fiscal stabilization, for fiscal year ending September 30, 2009, and for other purposes.
Sponsored by Nancy Pelosi, this resolution passed 244 to 188. It's now headed to the Senate. There was one abstention. There were no (as in zero) votes by Republicans in support of this bill. And that spells trouble, which rhymes with T, and stands for fools. On both sides.
The Republicans, who if you remember, sponsored the first bailout bill since it originated from the White House, have decided to co-op democracy from the start of the Obama administration. They are signalling that they intend to blame everything on the Democrats, which before it's over, will also likely include the war in Iraq. There's plenty of blame to go around but we need some cooperation here folks. Just a little.
And the Democrats, who are now in charge, couldn't muster a single vote from the other side of the aisle? Not one? Come on, how does this exemplify the spirit of non-partisanship. Congress has in large part, ceased to function except under partisan rules. Blame who you will, if it doesn't change, our bicmameral legislative body will end up where the banking industry is headed.
it's not a comeback!
It was a training ride.
Lance finished 29th in the Tour Down Under. He was never a factor; got a little face time for the sponsor (Astana*) in a breakaway on Day 4, but mostly he coasted in the peleton and avoided crashes.
*Technically Lance rides for the Astana Team. Astana, for those who might not know, is the capital of Kazakhstan. Why would Armstrong ride for a team who purpose is to redevelop Russian dominance in the sport of cycling? Several reasons, foremost of which is that Astana has the best Director Sportif, Johann Bruneel in the business.
Bruneel, who has captained all of Lance's Tour de France victories, plus Alberto Contador's Tour win, always has a fleet of capable domestiques to support his best riders. Plus, Astana has the best team of riders in the world; three great riders, with Armstrong probably the 3rd best among them. Contador also bagged the Giro D'Italia and Vuelta a España within 12 months which makes him a mini-god in the pro-circuit. Levi Leipheimer, who played second fiddle to Armstrong for a couple of years, is the number 2 Astana rider. Look for Leipheimer to make a repeat victory in the upcoming Tour of California as Lance continues to work his way back into racing form. So, long point, in reality, Lance, as always, rides for himself. The American press will give short shrift to Team Astana and instead focus on the dude in the yellow bracelet. Lance's real team is Livestrong.
Steephill offer all the Aussie spin @:
it's not an aussie comeback
Lance finished 29th in the Tour Down Under. He was never a factor; got a little face time for the sponsor (Astana*) in a breakaway on Day 4, but mostly he coasted in the peleton and avoided crashes.
*Technically Lance rides for the Astana Team. Astana, for those who might not know, is the capital of Kazakhstan. Why would Armstrong ride for a team who purpose is to redevelop Russian dominance in the sport of cycling? Several reasons, foremost of which is that Astana has the best Director Sportif, Johann Bruneel in the business.
Bruneel, who has captained all of Lance's Tour de France victories, plus Alberto Contador's Tour win, always has a fleet of capable domestiques to support his best riders. Plus, Astana has the best team of riders in the world; three great riders, with Armstrong probably the 3rd best among them. Contador also bagged the Giro D'Italia and Vuelta a España within 12 months which makes him a mini-god in the pro-circuit. Levi Leipheimer, who played second fiddle to Armstrong for a couple of years, is the number 2 Astana rider. Look for Leipheimer to make a repeat victory in the upcoming Tour of California as Lance continues to work his way back into racing form. So, long point, in reality, Lance, as always, rides for himself. The American press will give short shrift to Team Astana and instead focus on the dude in the yellow bracelet. Lance's real team is Livestrong.
Steephill offer all the Aussie spin @:
it's not an aussie comeback
funkhouser gets funky again
Mayor Mark Funkhouser delivered his state of the city address on Sunday at All Souls Unitarian Church once again reaffirming his undying devotion for his wife Gloria, his willingness to be smart with the money, and proposing that 'televised' meetings with council members be televised. Ummm...m.o.i thinks we already have weekly televised meetings with the mayor and council; they are known as the legislative session and can be viewed on Channel 2 or your desktop.
This address echoed similar tones from last year's address. His Mayorship suggested that in the past he had let others set the tone of the conversation and that - no longer! he's going to fight back and work to drive the conversation -- which in reality, in our city-manager form of government -- is the job of the mayor. To lead the city.
There is some validity in the mayor's assessment of folks crying foul when in fact they are fowl. Plenty of knuckleheads have been quick to bash the mayor without listening first. But the Mayor should be taking the blame, as the leader, and then insuring that the city moves forward on the proper agenda. The problem, has, is, and continues to be that the public and probably more importantly at this point, the City Council, doesn't perceive the Mayor as being conciliatory. And calling the dogs on the carpet in the state-of-the-city addresss doesn't help. In reality, it just reaffirms that he's not that conciliatory and ready to move on to bigger issues, i.e. the business of the city.
Stubbornness can be a virtue, until one becomes intractable, then it's a liability. It's easy to be stubborn when you're racking up political victories, except the last major political victory the Mayor scored was his election. That was 2 years ago. The Mayor complained bitterly that the previous mayor never listened to its constituents and the funny thing about this Mayor, is that he's in danger of becoming his own worse enemy. If the Mayor really wants to get jiggy wid' it, he needs to do more than wear an orange tie.
This address echoed similar tones from last year's address. His Mayorship suggested that in the past he had let others set the tone of the conversation and that - no longer! he's going to fight back and work to drive the conversation -- which in reality, in our city-manager form of government -- is the job of the mayor. To lead the city.
There is some validity in the mayor's assessment of folks crying foul when in fact they are fowl. Plenty of knuckleheads have been quick to bash the mayor without listening first. But the Mayor should be taking the blame, as the leader, and then insuring that the city moves forward on the proper agenda. The problem, has, is, and continues to be that the public and probably more importantly at this point, the City Council, doesn't perceive the Mayor as being conciliatory. And calling the dogs on the carpet in the state-of-the-city addresss doesn't help. In reality, it just reaffirms that he's not that conciliatory and ready to move on to bigger issues, i.e. the business of the city.
Stubbornness can be a virtue, until one becomes intractable, then it's a liability. It's easy to be stubborn when you're racking up political victories, except the last major political victory the Mayor scored was his election. That was 2 years ago. The Mayor complained bitterly that the previous mayor never listened to its constituents and the funny thing about this Mayor, is that he's in danger of becoming his own worse enemy. If the Mayor really wants to get jiggy wid' it, he needs to do more than wear an orange tie.
Eroll Morris, director of the Oscar-winning documentary, The Fog of War, offers a look back into the Bush Presidency through the eyes of photographers who covered Bush 43's term in office. Compelling, humorous, and insightful. Take a look before you forget the guy.
bush 43 through the years
Image: J. Scott Applewhite
cornel west opens fire on assembled guests
"The condition of truth is to allow the voice of the suffering to speak."-Cornel West, Inaugural Martin Luther King Keynote Address, University of Missouri-Kansas City.
Cornel West invoked a long history of activists in a stirring speech Friday in Kansas City. West, whose engaging speaking style is a smash-up of Frederick Douglas, Fannie Lou Hamer, Rev. King AND Rev. Wright, with liberal doses of Spike Lee, Sarah Vaugh, Curtis Mayfield, Chris Rock, Socrates and Shakespeare thrown in, enthralled, embraced, and threatened the assembled crowd to remember that our legacy is rooted TOGETHER, that we are joined by a common love, and that we should "never confuse charity with justice". It was, as someone near remarked, a giving speech. To say that the brother got soul is to underestimate the man, to minimize his influence and the power of eloquent discourse. Oh, the brother got soul alright. He got soul. But his message was a rap to all God's children.
Echoing the cries that the enslaved have forever shouted, "What does it mean to be human?" West reminded everyone that those who have lived through catastrophic times as a people have done so with dignity rather than terrorism. They never gave up. They never lost their humanity. And the best amongst them, of which their are legions, never looked back on the racists, but instead turned their mirror to the martyrs who fought against them, looked ahead to those who worked to ennoble human dignity, spirit, and who shout the blues to the rooftop guards and to ever hill and dale.
Professor West tore at the corporate, sanitized version of King soundbites that are thrown around on King day. Aphorisms that quickly recede in the shadows of young men and women whose living-wage job prospects are primarily to serve an imperialistic army. No. Rise up! cast off the chains of indignity and injustice and embrace humanity rather than run a sword through it.
Kings message against the war was recently brought home to me on a flyer tacked on the door a service station in Jefferson City, MO. The sign read "Do you want $50,000 to go to college?" It then went on in great detail about a job that would pay:
*your college tuition
*give you $50,000 for college living expenses
*provide free health care benefits
*life insurance
*pay raises if married (and for each child born)
The catch, of course, is that you have to join the Army. This is where the money for student loans and heath-care programs for children has gone in the era of Reaganomics. It's getting to the point where the only way one can afford to go to college is to join the military and keep fighting imperialistic wars of oppression. Wars for the few, the mighty, and the entitled. Until we remove our jingoist intentions we can never bring peace and justice to the world.
Electing a black man to be President will not end racism in America. It's a step that may help America finally confront its long legacy of racial injustice but it won't end it. There is optimism to be found in the notion that Obama entered the office on a carpet of praise from all legions of the globe while Cheney slowly wheeled himself into hellish obscurity and Bush helicoptered off to a bramble thicket.
If King were alive today, he would most assuredly be moved by Obama's election. A victory has surely been gained. It's also just as likely that after praising Obama, King would be quick to remind us that we have much work to do. Millions of children are still in poverty. Millions still have no jobs, no place to live, no health care, and little hope for a future. King would remind Obama when the phone rings at 3 am in the White House it is likely to be a plea from the poor asking, "when will the sun rise on all of America?"
house (white) party
Obamaites. Still can't come down from the big event? Party like Biggie O to the sounds of DJ Z-trip. Free downloads courtesy of moveon.org. Check it @: dj z-trip obama mix
supreme court reconsiders
Chief Justice John Roberts wasted no time in challenging Biggie O to do-over. Roberts re-administered the oath of office to Pres. Obama this evening and in a nod to all faiths and his promise of inclusivity, Obama's hand rested on the Koran once owned by Thomas Jefferson.
bush to 43, uhh, can I have a do-over?
Former El Presidento Bush looks out the window and the 2 million people gathered on the mall to watch his successor and realizes, "umm...maybe I did fuck up a bit."
in with the new
I can't ever rememeber when people gathered to watch a Presidential inaguration ceremony. This event was sponsored by the Jackson Co. Democractic Party at Coach's Bar and Grill in Kansas City, MO. Full house. People cheered and people weep.
m.o.i: join the party
Your opportunity to enter the political backroom.
join the party, 2009, m.o.i.,found and appropriated objects on a cigar. limited edition of 75.