Sarah Palin, in an attempt to pay off some campaign debts, replace her aging wardrobe, and earn extra Christmas money, has signed a deal to endorse a line of turkey processing equipment for the homemaker who doesn't yet have everything. Said Palin, "Ya know. Here in this great state, where we're used to doing pretty much everything ourselves, without the help of the government, the outsiders, who like to tell everyone how to do things, well...we just have to do it ourselves, ya know, to get by, to feed our families and to do the peoples business...so we're used to this kind of stuff."
The equipment includes a 4-cone drainer - perfect for the multi-tasking homemaker who wants to collect the blood of victims as well as a machine that sucks the feathers from a turkey and immediately stuffs them into pillows. "Pillows. Now that's a good Christmas present. Everyone likes a good pillow. Everyone in my family is getting new pillows for Christmas" said the former candidate.