moi v. brown and williamson

Many of us like to stand in judgement of our hometown sports teams-especially when they suck as badly as the KC Royals. Some lament the poor pitching, others the lack of power, and still others the blundering mishaps. Although these traits are definitely problematic for a professional club to own, potentially they are solvable. However, until the current owner, David Glass, stops treating the team as just another mediocre Walmart franchise, the team will remain trashed. Apparently manager Trey Hillman shaved his 'stache after the latest 10 game losing streak which has momentarily stopped the bleeding and given some fans reason again to hope the team can at least play .500 ball.

Speaking of mediocre franchises moi learned something last week. One benefit of losing your mother to lung cancer and a heart attack, to detesting second-hand smoke, and a major-league dislike of greedy corporations is that it makes it fairly easy to get recused from serving on a month long jury trial involving the malfeasance of Big Tobacco. My disdain for the stupidity of white trash rednecks who smoke Kools for 50 years because they think they are a healthy alternative to unfiltered Camels and my love for film, including The Insider, also may have worked in my favor.

After being dismissed from this jury (if I didn't have a day job it might have been interesting to listen to two sides of America laying a shit trail for 4 weeks), I discovered that this case has already been tried once. And found in favor of the people who apparently have yet to discover that the basis of advertising is a LIE. The retrial courtesy of a technicality expounded by an appellate court. At this point many would give up but whenever there's lots of money involved people tend to keep grubbing for worms until the dirty end.

Yes. I know nicotine is the most addictive substance on the planet. OK. I know it's hard to stop smoking. And cancer deaths from smoking are horrible and sad. I know the tobacco companies lied and cheated and did (and do) most anything to keep people addicted to the product-the drug delivery system. But the link between the habit and the death it causes is apparently clear to everyone except those who still believe that the Royals have a chance this year to make the playoffs.

Mark Teahen goes village people

Well if you can't win games you might as well go disco karaoke with it.

Saying the following, "Trey! Time to shave the mustache" within earshot of the beleaguered manager is apparently just cause for getting thrown out of the stadium.

rainout at the little k

Even though my swanky tickets to the Royals were stepped on by Mother Nature last night, I did get to see Hall of Famer George Brett again this morning as for some reason the guy, along with TV anchorwoman Elizabeth Alex, narrate the video that Jackson County uses to instruct jurors on American judicial process. I guess since the pine-tar incident George has always had an interest in fair and impartial.


Even if you don't have a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend who's willing to comp the most expensive tickets in the house your way the Royals have created quite the deal - the Diamond Club. It's first come, first served seating in club boxes that are right behind home plate. No minimum charge either. Buy the cheap seats and upgrade, although I hear there can be quite a rush to get these seats.

up, up, and anyway....in my beautiful, my beautiful...

BALLOON. BALLOONNNN.

The Kansas City Royals mobilized a large contigency of reservists yesterday in a desperate attempt to stop their spiraling, abysmal decline toward another 100-loss season. Despite the still-smoking bat of their best player, Sluggrr, and the promise of young talent like Alex Gordon, Fernando Cortez, and Zack Greinke, the Royals still lack focus, intensity, and purpose. And pitching. And power. And an owner who gives a damn.

Prediction. A breakout year. They only lose 98.