pope performs drive-by mass

Hey, he was in a hurry. Lot's of people demand His Holiness's time. And he just turned 81, so better a quickie, than nothing at all.


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city of industry to build stadium for papal visits

The City of Industry announced plans on Thursday to build a stadium in Los Angeles large enough to hold papal masses. When the pope is not in town, it's hoped that an NFL team might also use the stadium.
According to a statement originally attributed to Harvey Keitel,

The proposed 600-acre site is already secured by Majestic Realty Co. through a long-term lease with the City of Industry. It is located some 20 miles east of downtown Los Angeles, near the junction of the 60 and 57 freeways.

Mr. Keitel, who some say is prone to spontaneous outbursts of questionable action, reportedly made the announcement after buying a candy bar from a newstand and discovering the last remaining golden ticket inside.

papal visit stirs sales of red hats

The Pope is coming, the Pope is coming! To America.
Those who don't know may want to bone up on the proper protocol for dressing the pope for every occassion (Yes, there are manuals on the subject). Lest we give away the baby in the basket, let's just say that dressing usually begins with a very large hat.

On a more personal note, if you are lucky enough to see the pope, the best thing you can do is wave. The pope is likely to wave back.

Sales of glass coffins may also increase in the wake of the Pope Benedict's visit.

elsewhere:
how to dress like the pope