pure crunk

Hillary Rodham Clinton just can't get enough love. Her campaign has raised ten million dollars since the first of the month and things are still tough out there on the mean streets of America. Foremost is that her nemesis, Barack Obama, managed to raise even more money in the same period and soundly defeated (by a 2 to 1 margin) her in the Nebraska and Washingon caucuses held earlier today.

Then there's the story out of Louisiana this evening, that Bill, after hearing the exit poll numbers and learning that the long running writer's strike had been settled, spontaneously broke into a rendition of "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp" on a New Orleans street corner and began asking for donations. The numerous Obama supporters in the French Quarter celebrating the week's victories reportly threw spare change at Mr. Bill the Ex-President.

Update:
It's looking like another sleepness night for the HRC staff. The big problem is that there's little the campaign can do before Tuesday next where Obama will score more victories, after which even more heads will begin turning away from the experience we've already gone through and looking for a new experience we can believe in.

But the Clintons won't go down without a fight to the end. And don't expect them to be gracious losers because they won't be. And don't be surprised when Bill dons a sumo-wrestlers outfit and challenges all comers on Hillary's behalf in the mud pit of politics.

currently accepting applications

McGruff the Crime Dog has a challenger! Huckleberry Hound. Just in case you thought those folks in Kansas had suddenly become liberal after overwhelmingly going for Barack Obama, they decide to offer all of their Republican delegates to Mike Huckabee. As Mike said, when asked why he's still in the race with no hope of winning, "what else am I going do?"

Suggestion. Walmart always needs greeters.

saturday morning matinee

We note with interest that many fewer people showed up for the Kansas caucuses on a bright sunny Saturday morning than at the Democratic caucuses which were held in horrible weather during the middle of the work week. We also note with interest that the 3rd Congressional District caucuses were at the Westglen Theater which is currently offering the following movie treats:
Rambo, Charlie Wilson's War, Fool's Gold,The Bucket List,Untraceable, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Over Her Dead Body, There Will Be Blood, and the movie that we hope they watch, No Country for Old Men.

Kaye Bailey Hutchison opens fire on reason

Republican Senator Kaye Bailey Hutchison from Texas appeared yesterday in front of the conservative Heritage Foundation and said, "in Texas, gun control means aiming with two hands."

Later in the day, a man identified as Cookie killed 2 policemen outside the Kirkwood city hall and then walked inside the city council chambers and opened fire with a handgun(s) killing 3 and wounding 2, at least one critically. The gunman was killed by police.

No statement yet from the Senator's office.

Image: Beretta 92FS made from legos.

a bargain at any price

It only took 35 million dollars of his own money for Mitt Romney to realize he didn't want to be President of the United States.

Mitt Romney dropped out of the race because of:
1) Fear of a brown planet.
2) Fear of a French planet.
3) Fear of a black planet.
4) Fear of evangelicans, Scientologists, and Muslims.
5) Fear of the Chinese Olympics.
6) Fear of having another Saville Row suit ruined at the dry-cleaners.
7) Fear of his sons becoming too worldly on the campaign trail.
8) Fear of fear itself.
9) Fear of only having $50 million dollars in his bank account.
10)Terror.

Note: This number keeps going up. We first reported 32 Mil, then we heard 35 Mil, and just today we heard 40 Mil. Mitt is not required by law to disclose this amount.

we cash refund checks

Politics can be as addictive as playing the lottery and your chances of a payout about the same which makes giving money to a presidential candidate a bit like having a teenager in the house. Until they sense that you're maxed out then they want MORE MORE MORE.

Yesterday, thousands of folks, including moi, recieved this email from David Plouffe, Barack Obama's campaign manager:

"The Clinton campaign just announced that Hillary and Bill Clinton injected $5 million of their personal fortune into her campaign a few days ago.

To date, more than 650,000 people like you have taken ownership of this campaign, giving whatever they can afford.

The Clinton infusion of $5 million -- and there are reports it could end up being as much as $20 million -- will give them huge resources for the next set of primaries and caucuses.

We have raised more than $3 million since the polls closed on February 5th. But we have no choice -- we must match their $5 million right now. We're going to do it the right way, with small donations from people like you. It's never been more urgent that you make a donation of $100 right now."

To begin with, public service is intended to be just that, public, so it's not exactly clear how a single income family on a government salary can amass enough money to loan themselves $5 million. Let's assume that speaking enagements for Bill have been very lucrative in the years since he left office and I belive they have been but for the purposes of this argument, if his appearance fee was a hefty 20K, then 250 speaking engagments would be needed to generate that amount. He's been out of office for 8 years, so it's very possible that he's made a lot of money. Using the same estimate, 20 Mil, would be 1000 speaking engagements. I'm not suggesting that the Clinton's have been doing things illegally, it's just that I don't believe one should be profiting from the Office of the Presidency. Unless it is to help THE PEOPLE - witness Jimmy Carter.

Back to the sales pitch, the premise of which is that because HRC infused her campaign with 5 mil, then we have to raise our own $5 to match. Granted, it would be a strong statement if the Obama campaign could say, hey look we didn't have to reach into our own meager pockets, we asked thousands of everyday folks to contribute $100 and that's the difference between the two campaigns. However, this pitch is just days after it was announced that Obama has raised 32 million in January, a record for any candidate.

My point is this. If you feel compelled enough by a candidate to financially support their candidancy, that's great. Give money. But beware the ever sell. It's easy to fall into the excitement of these campaigns, who knows how many young folks, having never given to a political campaign are now serving up their entire income tax refunds to candidates as the excitment builds. Political races are expensive, but so is life.

I do believe in giving. And giving enough so that you have to make sacrifices about what you can do in your own life. We did make a small contribution to the O campaign and we also instituted our own economic stimulus package.

However, any future donations during the primary season will instead go to a local charity, not-for-profit, or be used to support a working artist by buying some of their work. These demographics have a very difficult time sustaining work in the first place, but in hard times and election years it becomes even more difficult. Investment in your local community is much more likely to positively impact your quality of life than whoever ends up in the Big House.

dispose of properly

Wow, in a move worthy of the best political chess matches or stinking of the worst smears, Brain McNamee levels charges that could land the Rocket in prison instead of the Hall of Fame.
see:
clemens trainers claims to have physical evidence

the end of the world is near

Those of you who own a more sophisticated television set (are they still called that? or is flat screen the preferred term?) than moi, may be interested to know that come Saturday the Writer's Guild of America strike will surely end as the union management will go East Coast/West Coast and present a tentative agreement to the guild. It's taken 4 months for the WGA to wrest the details from the devil known as AMPTP or the Alliance Motion Picture and Television Producers. Oh yes, there's probably some good people in AMPTP if you could see through all the second-hand cigar smoke to find them. But back to the point. There are two. If the guild doesn't accept this agreement, then they need to get rid of their leadership because they entrusted them to call the strike and bring them an agreement and come Saturday this will have transpired.

On a more personal note for you dear reader, it means that you'll no longer have endure my satirization of the end of the world (48 days: a lot can happen in 7 weeks) as the folks who write the melodramic sit-com 24 will be back at the keyboard trying to uncover those hard-to-find weapons of mass destruction.

In order for us to backslide three things would again have to converge. There is an ongoing presidential primary race of historic proportions, Jack Bauer is in prison on a DUI, and the writer's are on strike.

Pray mercy.

second line

Turns out the Obama watch party wasn't a bust after all. They will still caucusing which is why they weren't watching. In accordance with the caucus rules, they were supposed to start @ 6 pm and end @ 7 pm. Problems were encountered that keep them going until well past 8 pm, notably, a lot more people (at least 75 percent of which were Obama supporters) showed up to caucus than were expected by the Democratic party, and they didn't have room in the hall for everyone. People waited in line, and the weather was really, really crappy (rain, sleet, snow) for as long as 2 hours to get into the caucus hall and at one location, everyone was eventually forced outside by the fire marshall so the group ended up caucusing in the parking lot.

Such snafus point out the anachronistic nature of the caucus system. First you have a very narrow time slot in which to declare your support for your candidate, and then, you can't just cast your vote and leave, you have to stay until the process is complete which takes an hour or more. So if you're a parent with a small child, work nights, or just not that keyed into the process, then you're going to be out in the cold. Kansas, which has its fair share of cheapskates, likes the caucus because it means that the parties pay for it, rather than the taxpayers. But really, everyone who cares about the outcome pays for it because voters are disenfranchised.

give it up

It's much too early to try and make sense of yesterday's wintery mix but we will note that some news organizations should give up calling the outcome of elections before all the results are in. AP called the Missouri Primary for Hillary Rodham Clinton last night, a result that was quickly repeated by NPR, and all of the major networks. A google search about 11 pm resulted in no less than 20 news articles (most from television stations) reporting that HRC had won. Except that she did not.

With 3371 of 3371 precints reporting the actual vote tallies are as follows:
CANDIDATE votes PERCENT OF VOTE
Clinton, Hillary 395,235 48.0%
Obama, Barack 405,591 49.2%
Edwards, John 16,743 2.0%
Spelbring, Ralph 224 .0%
Kucinich, Dennis 820 .1%
Richardson, Bill 690 .1%
Biden, Joe 629 .1%
Dodd, Christopher 249 .0%
Gravel, Mike 438 .1%
UNCOMMITTED 3,135 .4%

In what may portend bad news for the Republicans in November, more than 200,000 votes were cast on the Democratic side than on the Republican side.

see also:
elsewhere:
official missouri election results

super phat tuesday

Time to gunny up the gumbo, spice up the red beans and rice, and get jiggy 'wid it.


Election workers prepare for voters at Westport Roanaoke Community Center, Kansas City, Missouri.






Ballots are placed in an electronic voting machine to be tallied.









Thunderstorms rolled in the area shortly after polls opened. Rain is expected to change to snow later in the day.






Commuters are forced to juggle work loads with voting times and other commitments. Some day you'll be able to vote on the weekends or over the course of several days such as is done in Florida.




One of the last voters today at a polling station at Central United Methodist Church, Kansas City, MO





Last minute voter at St. Paul's Episcopal Day School, Kansas City, MO








A snowstorm was keeping many folks home from election night watch parties. Although a rally on the Missouri side brought out several hundred supporters, this party, scheduled by Kansas supporters had no attendees. They may have jumped on the Mardi Gras pub crawl buses to celebrate their caucus victory.

18 and no?

John McCain, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and perhaps even Barack Obama could have wins in 18 primaries after tomorrow and still not have a firm grip on the nomination. Less so for McCain, as he will likely emerge as the Republican nominee. However, it remains to be seen if Americans can be bullied into voting McGruff the Crime Dog into the big Dog House on Pennsylvania Avenue. You never know how the dawg will play against the Dems, especially when you still hear people say things like, I don't know if the country is ready for a_____ [insert slur here masquerading as empathy] to be President.

OK then I'll say it if you won't. I don't know if the country is ready for a former prisoner-of-war to be President.

Season Finale: 48 days, week 7

Sunday, 8:30 AM, Barack Obama’s private jet en route to Kansas City
Jennifer Rowland, sleep deprived, nursing a deep hangover, and a growing resentment for politics as usual is stretched across two seats waiting for the battery on her laptop to recharge so she can bang out 500 words before the wheels touch tarmac and another day goes to hell. David Pouffe, Obama's impatient campaign manager, is on his second cup of airplane coffee. "The South Carolina speech was inspiring. People are starting to call it life-altering."

Jennifer groans. "It was...I'm never drinking again."

"Bullshit. We're headed to Kansas. It's almost February. How many times can you tweak the same stump speech anyway? Maybe you should get outside more, see if you can see your shadow, I want to know if we've got six more weeks of this madness or if the winter of our nation's discontent is almost over.

"Soon enough, now leave me alone. I could sleep, read the blogs, catch a movie. Lead a normal life."

"Normal was town in Iowa; we're well beyond that."

Monday, 10:00 AM, CTU Headquarters“How’s that new program Nina wrote working out?” Special Agent Tony Almeda asks Michelle Dressler.

“Check this out.” Michelle turns her monitor so Tony can get a look but all he sees are millions of twinkling dots scattered across a map of the U.S.

“Census data?”

“Of sorts. These are the IP addresses of every computer that has received the snarky 'Obama is a Muslim' email.”

“Everyone knows that shit is fake, how dumb are people?”

“Eight years of W?”

“OK. So the email went viral and Americans don't read. I still don’t see a pattern.”

“You wouldn’t at first, but if we go back in time...” Michelle types a few letters and hits the return key.

“OK. Still looks like lot's of dots on a map to me.”

“These are the muslim emails two-times removed, sorta like the grandparents of the thugs. Hard to see, but we’ve narrowed 50 million computers down to half a million. With Nina's improvements, we can go much farther back in time tracing the evolution of the spam. Actually, it's only a few days in time, but many, many, many forwards. A 10 generational family tree of the bogus email reduces the number to 50,000 computers, still too many to search individually. But, then we take..." Michelle hits a few keys and another map pops up with what appears to be a random distribution of dots scattered across the United States.

"Point?"

"Coming. We subtract one map from the other, and...,"

“Wait, wait, wait, what’s that list?"

"The eddresses of everyone who’s ever been to a Clinton rally, donated to her campaign, or received an email from them.”

“Looks like a lot of people.”

“Ten million and growing.”

Michelle hits a few keys, "OK. Back to the map. Subtract Clintonites who have forwarded the email more than 10 times from the Obama viral and we're down to only 1000 IP addresses.”

“We’ve only got 5 days before Super Tuesday, we don't have that many agents of change in the field.”

"How about hiring moveon.org."

“Be serious for a minute will you Tony. Now, here’s where all that CPU time starts to payoff. We hack into 5 of the 1000 machines, plant our own bogus email and spoof it out to another 5 machines. Looks legit to the receiver, the sender never knows about it. Turns out it only takes a few dedicated people to start a movement. This email made the claim that Barack was a foot soldier in the Reagan revolution and wants to make the Bush tax cuts permanent."

“Isn’t that McCain’s line? And why, as a Senator, why doesn’t McCain understand that trickle-down, means piss-on-you or that the Constitution prevents permanent tax cuts.”

“You’re missing the point Tony. We stand back and watch it become viral, propagate through the system. In just 16 hours it went from 5 machines, to 125,000 machines. When we cross-referenced all three of the virals, we discovered that 15 people are responsible for 75 percent of the spam. Ten of those are pre-pubescent males. And of the 5 who are over 18 years of age, two of them are convicted pedophiles who can’t vote, and of the remaining 3, 2 are registered Republicans. That leaves Jefferson Davis Jones of Orlando, Florida."

"Who's he?"

"Runs a Christian Theme Park."

"Disneyworld?"

"The Holy Land Experience."

"What's his problem?"

"Apparently he has several. His version of the New Testament doesn't include people of color, he's pissed that his primary vote won't be counted at the Democratic convention, and he wants to abolish the IRS."

"Sounds like it's time to throw the money-changers out of the temple."

Tuesday, 10:05 AM, Glendale City Jail
Jack Baer has cell mate and former White House intern, Izzy "Altoid Boy" Hernandez, hog-tied with bedding strips. “Ready to talk?," Jack calls from the crapper in the corner of the cell. Izzy shakes his head in terror. Jack looks at Izzy's bare feet, then down at the pair of socks he's holding in his hand, then proceeds to wipe his ass with each sock. He flushes, then takes the socks, rolls them into a ball, and jams them deep in Izzy's mouth.

"How about now?" Jack asks as beads of sweat begin to form on Izzy's forehead and roll down his face but he won't make eye contact with his interrogator. "OK. Suit yourself." Jack pulls a couple of large tablets from his shirt pocket, "Learned this one from the Chinese, they called it plop plop fizz fizz."

Jack pulls Izzy's head back and shoves the tablets deep into his nostrils. "Give it a minute, works wonders on indigestion, and sinus cavities."

Jack moves to the bed and begins leafing through a Daily Variety. "Hey, did you read this? Sean Young got drunk at an awards show and tried to shout down the Man. Hard to do? How's your indigestion?" He looks over and foam is bubbling out Izzy's nostrils and his ear canals. "Feeling better?"

Jack stands and moves toward Izzy, "you are going to tell me what you know about Super Tuesday and you are going to tell me, NOW!"

Jack rips another strip from the sheet and ties it around the man's head. He then pulls his cell phone out, removes the back cover, and using small pieces of chewing gum, attaches some tiny wires to the circuit board on the phone. Jack then inserts the phone inside the headband so that the display is visible to Izzy. Jack takes the other ends of the wires and one he secures against the man's left temple, the other he shoves deep into the his right ear, still bubbling with alka-seltzer and secures it with a wad of gum.

Jack coldly looks at the man, then leans in close so that his bad breath makes the man's eyes water and whispers, "last chance fuckwad. In exactly 2 minutes, my phone’s going to ring. And when it does, a 50,000 volt microwave burst goes into your frontal cortex and out your ear. You won't be able to hear yourself shit your pants and you’ll be lucky if you remember how to wipe your ass.” The man’s eyes open wider but he gives no indication that he’s going to speak. Jack steps down on the man’s foot until there’s an audible crack. The man struggles to keep from throwing up but knows if he does he’ll suffocate on his own vomit.

“One minute.”

Tuesday, 10:09 AM
“Stella, get Jack Bauer on the phone for me.”

“Yes Mr. Vice-President.”

Tuesday, 10:10 AM
There’s an audible pop, Izzy begins to quiver, then the faint smell of burning flesh and a small puff of smoke emanates from his right ear. Izzy's head drops, then he slumps over comatose. Jack loosens his restraints, drags him to the bed, places the pillow beneath his head and tucks in the sheets.

Wednesday, 2:00 PM
Vinnie Carter and Ruth are driving from Florida back to California in Vinnie's Cadillac El Dorado convertible. The top is down, the sun is shining, and George and Tammy are blaring out of the radio.

Vinnie reaches over and turns down the radio. "Fifty number one singles, you know that. George had 50. He made sense to people, but all this driving around to hell-and-high-water and back again makes no sense to me Sugar. Week before it Vegas, then Florida, and now we're headed back to Main Street, but it's the one that runs down the middle of Disneyland. No one lives there except 'toons"

"Hey, don't forget the side trip to the Creationist Museum in Lexington. I knew I wasn't related to a baboon."

"One should only play the ponies in Lexington. Maybe you're not a baboon, but you are my baboo, and when you present that fine ass of your's to me, I get all gorillared up inside."

"Don't be crude Vinnie. It's not becoming."

"So what's next for us? We chased the shepherd's purse around for a couple of weeks and have little to show for it."

"Don't know 'till you try Vinnie. But we'll always have Des Moines. How do you feel about purple?"

"Purples a fine color but what does it mean?"

"It's the color of Lent and it's not blue, and it's not red, it's somewhere in between. Look, see that purple mark on that tree? Where I come from, it's the universal NO TRESPASSING sign. Mark your property with purple paint and anyone who comes on your property without your permission, can be arrested for tresspassing."

"Like Mexicans and anti-war protestors?"

"Doesn't matter who you are. You could be Fred Phelps, you cross into purple, you're in our maze and we hold the solution."

"Glory! Glory! Purple it is."

Thursday, 11:45 PM, Glendale City Jail.
A small crowd has gathered outside the Glendale City Jail awaiting the release of Jack Bauer. TMZ, ET, Access, are there along with a gaggle of 15-year olds lugging cameras looking for the money shot of Bauer looking sheepish peering through the tinted windows. A limo approaches and attempts to turn into the parking garage. A crowd gathers around the limo and impedes its progress. One of the kids stands in front shooting pictures through the front window. The limo driver lays on the horn, then rolls down his window, "get the fuck out the way you scumbag, before I run you over!"

The kid refuses to budge. Quickly a uniformed officer comes over and grabs the boy by the shoulders and moves him out of the drive. "I wouldn't test that guy, he used to drive for Anthony Pellicano. Anyway, aren't you out past your curfew? Do your parents know you're out this late."

"Eat pelican shit copper," the boy says mockingly. "How do you think I pay for tuition at Buckley? The right photo of Bauer will pay a months tutution, so don't heckle me about missing Letterman's top ten list."

The policeman's radio buzzes, "Yo' Herandez, that's us, and leave that kid alone, he's harmless. Let's go pick on someone your own size."

"If I see you on the street past midnight anytime in the next week, I'm taking your IPod."

"That'd be theft." the kid says, taking the cop's picture for good measure, "I'll send this to your seargant. Now go get a donut."

Friday 12:15 AM Steps of the Glendale City Jail
The warden, sensing a growing impatience and frustration in the crowd, moves to the mike and begins speaking:
At 12:01, Pacific Standard Time, Jack Baeur, after serving 48 days in the Glendale City Jail on a DUI charge, was released on his own recognizance. While incarcerated, Mr. Bauer was a model inmate. He was assigned to laundry detail and to the best of my knowledge, had very little contact with staff, visitors, or other inmates. It is my understanding that Jack passed most of his time reading unfinished scripts.

Friday 12:16 AM Hollywood Blvd
"That the one?"

"Yes, sir, looks like our man."

The office makes a quick u-turn in the street, hits the bar lights and trains his spotlight on a rear window of the black Cadillac Escalade slowly cruising the boulevard. The SUV pulls over to the shoulder, but the beats get louder, and the spinners keep turning. The officers approach from each side of the car. The office-in-charge nods toward Sgt. Recruiter, the new bistro on the block, and ask his partner. "You been there?"

"Naw, it's new. Opened just before the New Year's."

"Yeah? heard it was intimate and luscious."

"I'm done with the lush life for awhile."

"Really? I hear that same shite story 5 times a week? You don't know anything but that. And what else would you do?"

"This time I mean it. But I really don't know what I'll do. Got a couple of days before I have to get back to work, then we've only go a few scenes to shoot before we run out of script. After that, we'll have to play it by ear. Maybe folks will come to their senses and cut a deal" Jack says, removing his patrol hat and handing it to the officer. "Maybe I'll get into politics. Wouldn't the first time an actor made the transition from the sound set to the Oval Office," he starts to removes his badge.

"Keep it. As a reminder of the right way," the officer says taking the hat but refusing the badge. "Haven't we had enough of politics? And I've been in the biz for 25 years, cooler heads never prevail. Just stay away from the boredom Jack. That's what gets to folks. The boredom."

"Politics. Boring?"

"Never meant much to me, but then again I'm just a shoe on the street."

"Hey don't sell yourself short. We need folks like you to keep the world safe, protect our families, hold the terrorists at bay."

"I thought you were doing that? saving the world from Al Qaeda, immigrants, and the drug cartels."

"No man, that's a Hollywood myth. Besides Bin Laden is just another out-of-work character actor and the terrorists appear to be out of scripts. Really, deep down, we're just like each other, trying to do a job, raise a family, and sometimes getting lost in the process. If either of us were President we be doing those same things, except lot's of people would be advising us on how to do it the way they think is best."

"Each day a new day?"

"Yeah," Jack says, giving the officer a hug, "something like that." He opens the door of the Escalade.

"Hey, I forgot to ask," the officer calls to him, "who ya' voting for on Tuesday?"

"I have no idea but I'm...people are...", Jack's voice catches, "everyone...everywhere..." he struggles to get the words out. "We're all tired of the headache. All the time, the head hurts, the body aches, nobody feels well. We've GOT to do better. We can, we must, we will. Change."

"Sounds like an endorsement. Take care and God Bless."

-------------------------------------
see also:
m.o.i.: 48 days, week 6
m.o.i.: 48 days, week 5
m.o.i.: 48 days, week 4
m.o.i.: 48 days, week 3
m.o.i.: 48 days, week 2
m.o.i.: Season premiere-48 days, week 1
m.o.i.: Damn it! I just can't do this anymore.

derailed, Bush endorses Obama

President Bush, yes it's almost easy to forget he's still in office with all the campaign brouhaha going on, was in Kansas City yesterday. El Presidento was doing the one thing he's still seems capable of doing without causing a train to derail in Donner Pass, that of making greeting cards with kindergardeners. But he even has trouble with that.

I appreciate, Don [Donald Hall, Hallmark CEO], your hospitality. I am still trying to recover from the kindergarten experience. (Laughter.) I mean, you talk about sapping a person's energy. (Laughter.) But it was a fabulous experience.

There are some signs that President is beginning to understand the severity of our economic downturn

There are serious signs that the economy is weakening and that we got to do something about it. Today we got such a sign when after 52 consecutive months of job creation, we lost 17,000 jobs. The unemployment rate went down, but nevertheless, a serious matter is that for the first time in 52 months that we didn't create jobs. And so the question is what do we do about it?

The last time he foresaw problems, just before the 2004 election, he managed to buy enough votes with a $600 tax refund to keep himself in office. This time, the stakes are higher because the future of the Republican Party is in peril, he's upped the ante to $800 per person, either that, or $200 is his idea of a cost-of-living increase for the working poor.

We got some of our citizens purchased mortgages that they can't afford now. Hopefully the reason -- hopefully they didn't get deceived, and if they did, the government has a responsibility to take care of that. ...therefore we're trying to make sure we connect the borrower with somebody in the mortgage industry that will help them refinance. And that's why we started what's called the HOPE NOW Alliance.

What? HOPE NOW? The economy's tanking and all he's got is hope? Have all the bright minds in Washington left the White House to work on campaigns?

And wouldn't casting a vote now, at this stage of the game, for hope, be a vote for Barack Obama? Did the President just endorse Barack Obama for President? Maybe Bush is finally starting to get it.

blood suckers

Q: What do Mike Huckabee and Wesley Snipes have in common?

A: They both want to abolish the IRS.

The only thing more convoluted than the Bush Adminstration's logic as to why we invaded Iraq is surely the jury's reasoning in the recent verdicts of:

United States of America

versus

Wesley Trent Snipes
Eddie Ray Kahn
Douglas P. Rosie

The verdicts serve to underscore the notion that celebrities should be held to a different level of law than everyone else. Mr. Snipes was acquited of the felony conspiracy and fraud charges against him, but found guilty of 3 of the 6 misdemeanor counts of failure to file a tax return and pay his taxes.

Maybe the jurors had something against 'normal' folks who run tax scams in the name of God, because Mr. Kahn, he of the Guiding Light of God Ministries, and Mr. Rosie, a mere mortal of accountant, were found guilty of the felonies.

Unfortunately for Mr. Snipes, who was all smiles upon leaving the courtroom after hearing of the not guilty verdict on the felony charges, the misdemeanor convictions carry a maximum sentence of 3 years in prison. Snipes may have side-stepped the hook and claw of the jury, but the judge will likely slice through all the bullshit and send Mr. Snipes to prison. Should be plenty of vampires to feed off there.

biscuits and gravy, milk and cookies

Today the Presidential campaign moved closer to the center as the candidate who may have cared the most about the poor in this country, John Edwards, and Rudy Guilliani, arguably the candidate who cared the least about the downtrodden, both called it quits. We're down to two Dems who are almost the same candidate, and if CNN had their say, the Republican Party would be forced to pit the curmudgeonly war hero against the satorial splendor in every debate. Perhaps the Republicans can decide their candidate based upon who will pledge to keep the troops in Iraq the longest! Twenty five years! No, fifty! Raise, a hundred.

After next Tuesday, the Hopeful pastor will likely part the troubled sea of political turmoil for the greening spring pastures of Arkansas. But much to the dismay of Anderson Cooper and Brian Williams, Ron Paul, will most likley be around for the convention, since his campaign is financed on the gold standard of fundraising, the internet.

obama endorsed by grizzlies and cobras

Senator Barack Obama was endorsed today by members of the Butler Community College National Championship Football team "the Grizzlies" at a rally in El Dorado, Kansas. Senator Obama spent part of Kansas Day, which celebrates the birth of Kansas statehood, in the birthplace of his grandfather.Kansas Governor Kathleen Seblius gave her support for Senator Obama at the rally with calls for bipartison unity. This stood in stark contrast to one chilly Grizzly, who, after waiting outside for an hour-and-half in single digit temps and blustery winds, told his pal, "dude! I just want a picture for my facebook page!"

The fullback's maneuvering skills paid off, because later he was seen in the front row shaking Obama's hand. He then quickly turned his back on the candidate, whipped out his cell phone, and got the prized picture. No doubt he'll soon be scheduling a meetup with coeds to discuss some serious issues. The Obama campaign was also courting female voters in Kansas and Missouri as Governor Sebelius and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill were on hand at today's rallies to lend support to the candidate, provide photo ops, and garner local coverage of Obama. Incumbent juniors(McCaskill) and term-limited (Sebelius) Democrats are beginning to hedge their bets about the eventual nominee; early support can bring the spoils of victory.

Just a few hours later at a rally in Kansas City, members of the Marching Cobras Drum and Dancing Corps gave the Senator and the assembled thousand(s) of supporters, a rousing stomp and a joyous welcome. The Cobras may have lost a step over the years, but they can still bring the funk when needed. All the noise couldn't bring out Kansas City Mayor Funkhouser whose invitation to the event was likely withdrawn after being served today with an official challenge calling for his recall. We did note that Alvin Brooks, Funkhouser's foe in last year's election, had a center-stage spot on the podium, directly behind Obaman, McCaskill, and Sebelius.

[correction and apology: The KC Star ran a photo in today's paper that clearly showed the Mayor front and center at the event. Our vantage point, from the cheap seats, while offering a view of some of the backstage manueverings, didn't allow us to see everyone who came and went].

visual reviews of aural entertainment

Mars Volta, rock band. Beaumont Club. Friday, January 24th.


Isabel Bayrakdarian, Soprano, Folly Theater, Saturday, January 25th.

branding the coo coo cuddly coo

I found a funny little shoe during a recent walk around the new Block Building at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, exposed like a glacial erratic at edge of the retreating snow. It's size 1 US, or size 0 in the UK.

Baby's first shoe can be a brand. Bring baby the power of the puma. Even before baby recognizes the danger of puma. Run baby run. Leap baby leap. Buy baby buy.

Serendipitously, upon my return home, there was an even funnier little Sundance short playing, Force 1 TD about a blind teenager, his seeing-eye horse, his homies, and their vision quest to Jersey to find just the right pair of prom shoes.

for your consideration

Politics and film are kettles of joy, hope, and intrique as much as they are cauldrons of excess, myopia, and greed. I enjoy them both but they can be maddening.

Americans will spend approximately 1 billion (1 x 10 9th power in scientific notation, frequently abbreviated as 1e9) dollars to elect a President this year. Although the exact information is a little more difficult to extract, movie studios will likely spend a similar amount to try and convince you to view their films before the next state-of-the-union address.

One shudders to imagine how many schools, roads, or bridges could be built with this money, how many water-treatment plant upgrades, homeless shelters, or drug-rehabilitation facilities could be constructed, or how many children could be lifted from poverty, families offered medical care, or research spent on developing alternative forms of energy. How much music, art, and architecture could be built in lieu of this largesse of self-promotion. But it's our system, and despite the protestations from the few, we seem to be sticking to it. Or at least until we decide to change it.
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"make it rain", 2008, m.o.i. Ink on paper, denominations vary, 20 multiples to date.