the blues had a baby

and they named it rock and roll.

It's shaping up to be another Presidential race between the old fogeys and the young 'uns and unless we've finally learned our history lessons, we could be in for a long war of more than just words.

McCain has began to run some internet spots that are masterful in their composition just as they are narrow in their focus. They show a young John McCain smiling and striding toward someone (the camera is placed in just a way so that it looks to be us), a Naval officer in dress uniform walks beside him as his escort. McCain stretches out his hand in greeting, and just at the moment that he reaches us, the ad copy slides across in front of the naval officer and we are left with just McCain and the tagline, John McCain, ready to serve the country. The spot catures the moment that McCain has been turned over from his N. Vietnemese captors and he's being received by the U.S. and it says to us, here I am, I'm coming home to you, to work for you, and I'm really happy to serve. It's a brillant 5-second loop of internet savvy sure to tingle the heart of millions of Americans on anti-cholesterol medication and comfort stomachs made quesy by 8 years of vigilant terror.

The Republicans, headed now by McGruff the Crime Dog, have begun their attacks on the O-man and these will surely deepen over the next few months. Obama's youthful recreational drug use will be compared to the notion that McCain was 'tied up for his country' during that time. But will any Democrats have the courage to attack McCain for his drunken youthful debachery during his naval academy days? How is this any different than recreational drug use during the early 70's? Or must we view McCain's actions as just another example of how our young men should learn how to be strong, learning faux redneck ways in a bar, in order to foster the bellicose nature of a true warrior?

a magic plot

Everyone should have a magic plot.

Everyone should have a magic plot, one in which are feed a couple of unknowns and there suddenly before you are a few mysteries of life you have longed for, say the never-before-measured space between two molecules, or equations for planetary orbits, or the distance between two moles on your lover's back and all of these come breaking suddenly to the surface and are revealed to you, and if oh, for ever so briefly, these unknowns reveal themselves like the flash of a hummingbird past the window, the narrow dive of a Cooper's Hawk, or a glimpse of Gemini on a clear February night, then you will quietly say to yourself, How could I have not noticed them before?

But before, before this day, you did not have a magic plot.

Yes, everyone should have a magic plot, whereby one inputs two or three as yet unsolved questions and there, yes there in the upper right-hand quadrant where the lines intersect are your children, and they are smiling, not because the day is sunny, which it is, but because you have arrived, just as you said you would, and bearing presents which you have not said that you would, but they know you well and have come to expect such things as surprises wrapped in love and brown paper and soon, very soon everyone will be playing in the sand and the sea and someone will be heard to say, Now, isn't this a grand occasion?

Everyone should have a magic plot, re-discovered after many years in storage, and having been lifted again into the light of day reveals the smell of peppers roasting, or of a spongy, spring loam turned before most have realized that yes, yes, yes spring is almost here.

Everyone should have a magic plot. One that tells here! is where the snow falls, and here! it is but ice, and then again here! is where the two mix and the curve ahead, yes this one, this curve, this life, this love that you are moving toward should not be taken lightly, so brake gently into the fog but do not come to a complete stop for there is nothing so sad as the mist which never touches the dew.

Everyone should have a magic plot. A round one with funny swiggles that must be explained in great detail, the story teased slowly from the data, and turning this plot in every possible direction, you discover again, with great certainy, more than is generally possible in the hard realm that your life mostly treads is that the most significant finding you've been able to conclude in all your years of probing is that love is laughter drawn through the lens of a microscope.

But before, before this day, you did not have a magic plot. And now that you do have one, you will carry it in your pocket, close enough so that you can feel it through your clothes when you walk, and fearful of showing it to anyone, to everyone, but hoping the chance arises to do so, and then you will produce the magic plot with a great flourish and explain it in great detail to all who will listen, even complete strangers who view you skeptically, until the plot becomes soiled and a bit ragged at the edges from all the viewings and you will tell everyone, Here. Look here. A magic plot.

Sources:
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, 2007, Miramax Films. directed by Julian Schnabel.

Sangster, W.E., and E. Jagler, 1985: The (7WG,8WT) Magic Chart. CR Technical Attachment 85-1, DOC/NOAA/NWS Central Region, Kansas City, MO, 5pp.

cleaning up

Caucus, 2008, m.o.i., found objects and glue, dimensions vary slightly, ~2 x 3 inches, multiple of 36 (the number of delegates allocated in the Feb. 9th, 2008 Kansas Republican caucuses).

From the series: Things to do with Ron Paul signs left by the side of the road.

m.o.i.: belief change

taking holiday of Presidents

Today's is President's Day in the USA, which for most Americans, means counting the days (340) till the current adminstration takes up less deadly pastimes than doing its part to help foster WWIII. Maybe it's too soon to imagine, but what exactly do you suppose the W will do after he leaves office? Lacking eloquence, it's a bit hard to imagine that El Presidento's speaking engangements will command Clintoneque dollars. Perhaps his brush removal skills can be transferred to board rooms in need of lopping off a few thousand workers in favor of maintaining stock prices. Fishing is purported to be one his hobbies. Maybe we could stock a Texas border lake with some invasive species and let him cast about for hits till the sun goes down. Send your suggestions to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

tuesday nite smackdown

Things have come to a pretty pass,
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that.
Goodness knows what the end will be;
Oh, I don't know where I'm at...
It looks as if we two will never be one,
Something must be done.

The Democratic primary race is beginning to resemble tit-for-tat politics. Progress versus speeches. Words versus actions. Delegates vesus superdelegates. Primary versus causus. Wisconsin verus Ohio vesus Texas versus exiled Michigan and Florida.

Daily poll numbers are bandied about as though they truly hold meaning in the outcome. Why vote your conscience when you can be part of the trend? It could come down to a WWF-like convention. Lot's of flash with the outcome pre-ordained and the crowd going crazy with mock hysteria. Except that mock hysteria often feeds into real hysteria. Will Hillary find herself trapped in a box of her own making? Stay tuned.


You say eether and I say eyether,
You say neether and I say nyther;
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther,
Let's call the whole thing off!

Lyrics from: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off, George and Ira Gershin, 1937.

sunshine, oceanspray and field sprints

Let's hope that wintry mix that keeps pounding the Midwest will soon leave and Spring will arrive. In one sense, that's been the problem. The wintry mix around KC has just been a smattering of snow, ice, sleet, and cold resulting in wind chills and reckless drivers but not enough snow for x-country skiing. Either bring it on, or get the hell out the way.

Some good news though to herald a season outdoors. The Tour of California starts tomorrow and the field is probably the strongest ever in an American stage race. Astana, although recently barred from the Giro D'Italia and Le Tour and now run by the mastermind Johan Bruyneel (Director Sportif for eight, count'em eight Le Tour wins), is fielding a team headed up by road champion Levi Lepheimer (USA, Astana). Where is Alberto Contador one has to wonder?

But the field is also crowded with many other high-ranking pros including David Millar (GBR, Chilpolte-Slipstream), Fabian Cancellara (SUI,CSG) who took two stage wins last year in the Le Tour, American sprinter David Zabriskie, and Tom Boonen of Quickstep. Sunshine, oceanspray, and field sprints should be in the mix most every stage.
The Tour of California begins with a prologue tomorrow at Stanford University in Palo Alto and finishes a week and 650 miles later in Pasedena.


elsewhere:
tour of california
greg lemond talks about cycling's recovery from dope

48 days, season recap

48 days
Jack Bauer, Special Agent to Counter Terrorism Unit, has only 48 days to keep the presidential primary campaigns on track as they spin toward Super Tuesday.

m.o.i.: Season premiere-48 days, week 1
Jack Bauer surrenders himself for 48 days on a DUI charge and quickly discovers that his ability to control presidential campaign spin is severely threatened. A man-in-a-chicken suit heckles the Obama campaign.

m.o.i.: 48 days, week 2
Jack Bauer spends Christmas in jail but extracts a gift from a rival inmate. Hillary Rodham Clinton encounters her own brand of campaign hecklers. CTU staff resort to torture in an effort to extract campaign secrets.

m.o.i.: 48 days, week 3
Jack Bauer spends New Year's Eve in solitary confinement, Obama staffers run headlong into the supporters of questional merit, and the writer's strike begins to effect campaign logic in a showdown at the Iowa caucuses.

m.o.i.: 48 days, week 4
As the campaign buses roll into the Granite State, Jack tries to warn CTU of impending trouble and campaign rallies become targets for bullies.

m.o.i.: 48 days, week 5
Jack's cellmate, Vincent, is freed, then heads to Vegas only to find solace in the arms of a Huckabee volunteer. The Obama campaign comes into a lot of money but during a South Carolina fundraiser, Obama's speechwriter begins to question the dream.

m.o.i.: 48 days, week 6
The Clinton campaign tries out a few dirty tricks. An unlikely coalition travels cross country and stops at a Huckabee fundraiser in Texas. CTU thwarts an unlikely terrorist threat a MLKing rally.

m.o.i.: Season Finale:48 days, week 7
The campaign heads to Kansas in the week before Super Tuesday, CTU cracks the mystery behind some bogus emails, and Jack endorses a new way of life but not before torturing a former White House intern.

Background.
m.o.i.: Damn it! I just can't do this anymore.
m.o.i.: 48 days: script notes

48 days: script notes

Last summer, while visiting a friend near Hollywood, I discovered that one of my favorite guilty pleasures had been serialized in paperback. This was pulp fiction at its simplest - a plot formula based on a television show. What I enjoyed about these books, besides the fact that they were perfect for the beach, or a few quiet moments - as they appeared to be written so as to be read in exactly one hour, was that there was absolutely no pretense with them. They were just trashy pulp designed to foster a brand. Reading one was the equivalent of watching a rerun of the show.

So when I heard that the major character on the series was going to jail for what amounted to a doubling of the series in more ways than one, 48 days (the series is 24 hours) I thought it was a chance to have fun with a number of different things while still allowing the pricipal character to struggle some with what sent him to jail in the first place.

Television, before which I've sat prostrate for more hours than I care to admit (and I actually moderate my intake to the best of my ability; not having a working television really helps) was on strike. How difficult can it be to crank out a television script? Show some empathy for the WGA. And do it just like they do on 24. Week-to-week. No pre-ordained story line, just write and see where the action takes you. It's not easy. Things that seem simple rarely are. It would take many more rewrites to get my scripts in working order and remove all the confused plots lines but it wouldn't be true to the original if it made complete sense. It's really a dopy show, but it's fun to watch.

For 48 days, the end-of-the-world action were the presidential primaries and caucuses leading up to Super Tuesday. I gave myself one week to crank out each episode and if interesting things in the campaign surfaced, I tried to obliquely work them into the story line. In politics, just like in 24, there's always some wacky shit happening.

We forced ourselves to keep the central 24 character, Jack Bauer, in each episode, but felt it important that he remain incarcerated and superficial to the events. He really has only a small amount of control and for Bauer this is not his normal way of working. But this is Jack Bauer we're talking about, if it can be done, he'll find a way. Or he won't. In addition to saving the world, he's also trying to save himself, and in many ways Bauer is a proxy for the voter, but being locked behind bars, he just isn't in position to actually cast a vote.

Because we're spoofing 24 and because our government has decided to partake in these actions, torture had to be a part of some of the plot lines. It never works, but it doesn't stop folks from using it.

I used campaign staff rather than the candidates because there was so much being written about the candidates what could possibly have been added? Besides, I could have more freedom with these characters and let them roam around a bit. The Obama campaign manager and speechwriter just surfaced as the primaries began to unfold and we worked through each episode.

Any semblance of real characters are only a figment of your imagination. If you haven't yet discovered that satire underlies m.o.i. then please, by all means, the next time you have a personal problem, call Jack Bauer. NOW!

the envelope please

Best Editing in a short film.
yes we can

will you?

panel rules craig an idiot

AND gay.

senate to craig, dude, what were you thinking?

no friend of mine

We note that those stodgy fellows at Westminster allowed the stately but smug Tibetan Mastiffs into the ring for the first time this year but still have yet to allow its smaller, more spirited cousin -the Rare West Tibetan Mountain Dog to compete. Maybe next year.

We also note that Uno, the beagle hound that won Best in Show, never caught a rabbit.

it was the wife!

The Rocket's fastball has lost a little steam in the off-season. He was having a very hard time trying to get this fast one past the committee on the Hill today.

please do not adjust your screens

this is merely a test.

The writers strike has come to an end. Some of you may have learned the perils of endless channel surfing on youtube, the sublime irony of Ron Paul campaign postings, or discovered that Quarterlife is a basket exactly one-fourth full. But fear not, The Daily Show will soon replace A Daily Show, the Oscars will go on, and the internet is here to stay. Here's to victory! HuZZah.

will you be her valentine?

Hillary Rodham Clinton is trying to right her upside-down campaign and speaking in El Paso last evening after the Virginia results had been announced and before the Maryland and D.C. races had been called (as soon as the polls closed) for Obama she did not sound very convincing. She seemed tired, out of sorts, and lost in her own rhetoric.

Meanwhile the O-man was saying in Washington, doing the people's business and acting presidential. Except to see more of this from Obama in the coming weeks and fewer rock star appearances. He knows that if he wants to take on McGruff the Crime Dog it won't be easy and he must appear Charlie, Ready and Able. And HRC isn't done yet, despite the loss this week of her two top campaign advisors and a mounting string of stinging losses in primaries and causcuses. It's 7 in a row for Obamba if you're counting. The Clintons are pros at politics and AMBITION is more than a personality trait with them, it's a way of life.

Update: In the ever-spin world of politics, Obamites are calling it 8-in-a-row, which I believe includes the straw poll taken at a back bar in St. Barts which Barack won by a margin of 7 to 3. The losers were forced to buy the next round. Cost? 2 million dollars.

supremes to air reruns of 24

Those activist judges are at it again. This time it's Reagan-appointed, Associate Justice to the Supreme Court Antonin Scalia who suggested to the BBC that torture might just be OK after all. Especially if there's a ticking time bomb in LA set to go off in minutes. A Supreme Court justice invoking a scenario from 24 to justify torture! Now we know Scalia must have watched re-runs during the writer's strike instead of reading.

That said, re-runs might be another way to get the gitmo bunch to talk especially since it was revealed today that a cup of coffee and/or hamburger apparently worked as well as torture in extracting information about 9/11. Forget 24 as a model for interrogation since it takes a whole season to get an answer, but on Law and Order, they wrap it up every episode.

Or we could tie them to a chair, force their eyes open, and make them watch Howie Mandel. Which briefcase holds the latte, which the Big Mac, and which one holds the bomb? Deal? or no Deal?

elsewhere:
coffee works better than torture
scalia endorses torture

plotting your position

There are a number of sites on the world wide web that are designed to help you dear reader/voter decide whom to vote for come election day. It could be reasonably argued that this site is not one of them. One site we recently discovered plots candidate positions on a graph which is purportedly designed to help you determine the liberal, conservative, or populist tendency of the candidate. No mention of being progressive, guess that's just not an option in today's politcal climate. It's hard for these sites to hide their biases. For instance in the above graphic, the summary points describe both John McCain and Mitt Romney as conservatives with populist leanings while Clinton, Obama, and Kucinich are referred to as hard-core liberals. Ron Paul would be the most moderate of the candidates. We've included the Socialist Party candidate McKinley just to let you know how they really think about the Dems. Such an approach is really designed to polarize opinions about the candidates.

There's another popular site that allows you to answer a bunch of push-poll type questions and then it tells you the candidate you should vote for. Kucinich was no longer an option by the time I got a chance to cast a vote.

We raise these points because last evening we found ourselves having dinner with Congressman Dennis Moore (D, KS). Lest you belief this to be an intimate affair, we were joined by 60 or so of his supporters, and we were not seated at the head table. No questions from the floor were taken.

Congressman Moore describes himself as a conservative Democrat. Which for him primarily means being fiscally conservative and working across the aisle, two things that everyone seems to agree upon but almost no one does. President Bush was his favorite punching bag. Bush is an easy target and since he's almost separate from the party-at-large anyone, one can pick on him without having to pick on other Republicans or describe why your own party, now in the majority, can't seem to get bills passed on the Hill.

We note that the fiscally conservative Democrat Moore was addressing this group because it is one that has received large earmarks from Congress, in part due to Moore's support. One district's pork is another district's jobs but when was the last time you were able to get an elected member of Congress come and talk to your civic group about issues that you felt were important? Probably never unless your group happens to contain large numbers of folks who can contribute mightily to re-election campaigns.

and i say no no no no

Wow! HRC kinda got her ass handed to herself on a platter this weekend. Talk about the power of O. Four to zip. More to come on Tuesday. Where's that snarky Bill when you need him?

Can we say those things? If she were dude instead of a dudette sure we could. Take for instance John McCain, we could say "dude, what happened, you got your ass kicked in Kansas and Louisiana by a guy who was the first person in his family to graduate from high school. High school! The Republican base must really, really must hate you McCain if they'd rather vote for a guy who's most significant endorsement is from Walker Texas Ranger over a war hero like yourself. Whaddup wid'dat?"

bush extends man crush to mccain

PRESIDENT BUSH on Vladamir Putin in 2006: I will answer the question. I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy.

President Bush speaking with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday, Feb. 8, 2008 about John McCain.

WALLACE: So what do you say to those conservatives, those Republicans who have questions about candidates?

BUSH: I say if you're seeking — looking for perfection, you'll never find that person. I certainly wasn't a perfect candidate for a lot of folks. You're not going to find perfection.

But what you ought to look at is look at the person's heart, look at the principles. And determine what's the best course for the nation and the best course for the nation is to have our candidate become president of the United States.
-----------------------------------------
Nancy Reagan had her astrologer, President Bush has a ouji board, and the Republicans will have McGruff the Crime Dog.

sub prime

Hollywood will be back to work next week which makes everyone in LA happy and lot's of other folks who are addicted to soap operas, melodramas, and awards shows. Over the course of the next few days, both the WGA and the AMPTP, will likely be spinning the strike as a victory for, you got it, the people. It's nothing of the sort.

Foremeost, having to strike for 4 months for a very, very, very small piece of the pie is not exactly victory. Most people call it a job and the portions keep getting smaller and the ingredients less natural and more saccharine. Secondly, the Hollywood moguls behind AMPTP could care less the quality of work delivered to you via the airways, which in case you have forgotten, the people own, and the corporations rent. Corporations care about the bottom line and the moguls that run them call that a job and fat-cat bonuses are growing, not shrinking.

And therein lies the problem. We've a warring culture where sides have to win or lose, so mostly everyone bloodies themselves senseless until it's time to call a temporary truce. Then everyone returns to work, but fundamentally very little changes. The internet, which by sheer volume alone of transmissions by THE PEOPLE, has the capacity to render such battles less relevant, is increasingly falling victim to assaults by the corporate media as well as the people's lack of due diligence in keeping themselves informed via content outside the mainstream or, as importantly, living a life devoid of celebrity. If the celebrities in your life aren't your friends and family then all victories are for naught because you'll never be able to contextualize them within the confines of your life.

Media giants have the resources, the brains, and the track record to recognize a good thing when they see it. This has the effect of bringing things back to the center and in most cases diluting them down to the lowest common denominator, which seems to suit many people's taste. This sounds a bit like politics because it is politics. To paraphrase an old saw, Money does as money sees.